This U.K. teen’s rap video about Orangina is next level

Any scientist, parent, even Instagram fitness model can confirm that weird things happen when youths ingest too much processed sugar.

Case in point is TheBatesBuster’s Orangina rap video—the visual manifestation of one teen’s sugar high and subsequent comedown. Is this the best display of lyrical prowess and cinematography in music history? Of course not. That award obviously goes to Kanye’s masterpiece, “Runaway.”

However, this is the best Orangina-themed music video that I have ever seen. Words rhyme, we discover a violent cannibal, and we’re given multiple locations across the “beautiful” United Kingdom countryside (kitchen, backyard, adjacent field). Best of all, this youth teaches me that “Orangina” does not rhyme with “vagina.” And for that, I am forever grateful.

If you’re interested in laughing at some kid with a classy accent, you will enjoy all 185 seconds of this music video.

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Stray observations:

  • God bless the rhythmically challenged.
  • This kid plays every character and he deserves a fucking Oscar.
  • “I have so much energy, I’m not going to sit in a chair.” #bars #trapstar #levels
  • “I took another sip of the orange-y shower.” I don’t want to be inappropriate here, but he makes it too easy.
  • “I was invincible like a car with an extra wheel.” Son, what? A car with five wheels is just a slightly faster car.
  • “We became best mates then I ate him off a plate with Orangina, yum yum in my tum.” The message is don’t drink orange carbonated beverages unless you want to be a homicidal, sociopathic cannibal.
  • THIS. IS. AMAZING.

Plus this kid has serious moves. 

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Screengrab via TheBatesBuster/YouTube

Ziwe Fumudoh

Ziwe Fumudoh

Ziwe Fumudoh is a writer and comedian. Her work has appeared in the Onion and Reductress, and she is a co-host at Crooked Media.