- Is Trump defiling the U.S. flag in this MAGA dude’s artwork? Sunday 4:41 PM
- White woman claims she invented sleep bonnets, selling them for $100 Sunday 4:03 PM
- Even real cats are transfixed by the enigma that is the ‘Cats’ trailer Sunday 3:04 PM
- Wait, how tall is Peppa Pig? Sunday 1:55 PM
- Twitter suspends Iranian state media outlets for harassing members of a religious minority Sunday 1:06 PM
- Pro-MAGA pageant queen stripped of title over ‘offensive’ tweets Sunday 11:52 AM
- Marvel unveiled its Phase 4 plans at San Diego Comic-Con Sunday 9:16 AM
- How a queer Instagram is helping fight the opioid epidemic in Appalachia Sunday 6:30 AM
- Philadelphia to fire 13 officers for racist, violent Facebook posts Saturday 6:12 PM
- Nick Offerman is so down to play every single role in ‘Cats’ Saturday 4:27 PM
- Woman documents how airport staff broke her wheelchair Saturday 3:04 PM
- Funeral home allegedly posted photos of woman’s dead body on social media Saturday 1:56 PM
- Alinity Divine is being investigated after throwing her cat during stream (updated) Saturday 12:04 PM
- ‘Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee’ returns with Seinfeld making a racist joke about China Saturday 10:26 AM
- YouTubers Eugenia Cooney and Shane Dawson make a joint comeback Saturday 9:06 AM
Olympic horse dances to ‘Smooth’ by Santana ft. Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty
Somehow, this didn’t win a medal.
That is indeed a “German-bred warmblood horse” named Lorenzo performing to an orchestral medley arrangement that includes both “Smooth” by Santana ft. Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 and Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life”—said life being one of top-tier competition to the sizzling guitar licks of “Smooth” by Santana ft. Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20.
Given that the triple-Grammy-award-winning 1999 Latin fusion hit single has enjoyed a second life as a not-all-that-ironic meme of late, it will surprise you not at all that people fairly lost their shit.
If you just missed a horse dancing to smooth by Santana and rob Thomas you basically missed the entire Olympics just move on to the next one
— pepper brooks (@Utah_getme_2) August 15, 2016
BREAKING: The IOC has awarded the horse who danced to “Smooth” then Bon Jovi the gold horse medal for best horse musical opinions
— Rodger Sherman (@rodger_sherman) August 15, 2016
Watching a Horse dance to Smooth by Santana and it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever seen on a TV ever.
— Jonathan J Simmons (@jjsimmo) August 15, 2016
cant stop thinking about the smooth horse
— Becca Laurie, PI (@imbeccable) August 15, 2016
Yet, while everyone agreed that Lorenzo’s routine was a hot one—he gave us his heart, made it real—he and rider Severo Jesus Jurado Lopez placed fourth, falling just shy of a medal for Spain, Santana, Rob Thomas, and awesome horses everywhere. The Olympics are a joke.
Neither Carlos Santana nor Rob Thomas have publicly commented on this athletic atrocity, but it goes without saying that either would give their world to lift Lorenzo up, would change their life to better suit his mood.
Because he’s so smooth.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'