- Buttigieg, Klobuchar come together to laugh at Bloomberg Wednesday 10:29 PM
- Bernie Sanders calls Bloomberg’s wealth ‘grotesque’ to his face Wednesday 9:53 PM
- Angry Bloomberg asks debate moderators if he’s ‘chicken liver’ Wednesday 9:29 PM
- Elizabeth Warren savages everyone else’s healthcare plan Wednesday 9:07 PM
- K-Pop stans help push ‘Pooping for Kaitlin’ hashtag mocking Kent State gun girl Wednesday 8:54 PM
- Fans speculate after learning Pop Smoke posted address prior to fatal home invasion Wednesday 8:11 PM
- Jar of human tongues found in Florida has people shook Wednesday 6:39 PM
- Video of Blueface teaching Obama lookalike to dance is turning heads Wednesday 5:58 PM
- ‘No one has the range’ for this meme Wednesday 5:21 PM
- Mom confronts man who followed daughter through grocery store in viral video Wednesday 5:05 PM
- Major study linking vaping to heart attacks gets retracted Wednesday 4:36 PM
- George Zimmerman is suing Pete Buttigieg, Elizabeth Warren Wednesday 2:55 PM
- Netflix’s ‘Horse Girl’ accused of ripping off 2017 indie film Wednesday 2:52 PM
- The Genyus Network is a safe social space for stroke survivors Wednesday 2:20 PM
- MAGA hat-wearing dog finishes last in ‘Today Show’ fan vote—still named winner Wednesday 2:03 PM
This user’s wife had a problem: Unknown colleagues steal her homemade lunch every few days or so. Tired of the issue going unresolved, the redditor leapt to action, whipping up a fiery, spicy lunch of buffalo wings clearly marked with his wife’s name. But these were no ordinary wings.
“I spiced them up just a little with some Blair’s 4am Reserve,” he wrote. “I note you are meant to dilute it with one drop per five liters of liquid. So I added a couple of drops of Blair’s 4am Reserve per wing with nice dusting of ghost chili powder for good measure.”
“He ran to the toilet and vomited over and over. Apparently the moans sounded like he was dying.”
This wasn’t a meal—it was a culinary weapon. Before the witching hour of lunchtime, there was a scream from the kitchen. The lots had been cast and a young male colleague (a subordinate!) was reaping what he had sown.
“He ate fast so as not to get caught, sucked the meat of the first one and was chewing on the second before he realized,” wrote u/ToastedChillies. “He ran to the toilet and vomited over and over. Apparently the moans sounded like he was dying. My wife just sat there innocently pretending nothing was wrong. Needless to say she has not lost a single lunch since.”
The offending colleague is reportedly no longer able to look the redditor’s wife in the eye.
“He knew she set him up. I intend to ask him one day if he enjoyed my wife’s lunch. […] Usually selfish people [like] that don’t know that they don’t love Blair’s 4am Reserve.”
For context’s sake, here’s a video of an overcompensatory bro being tamed by one ghost chili. The rascally redditor responsible for this story doled out a punishment many times more severe than what you’ll see below.
Screengrab via tedbarus/YouTube
Our Tumblr has everything: fandom, comics, longreads, GIFs, free pizza, and more. Follow us.
Dylan Love is an editorial consultant and journalist whose reporting interests include emergent technology, digital media, and Russian language and culture. He is a former staff writer for the Daily Dot, and his work has been published by Business Insider, International Business Times, Men's Journal, and the Next Web.