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Hot sauce and ghost chili peppers lead to world’s best lunch-theft revenge story
Revenge is a dish best served toxic-spicy.
This user’s wife had a problem: Unknown colleagues steal her homemade lunch every few days or so. Tired of the issue going unresolved, the redditor leapt to action, whipping up a fiery, spicy lunch of buffalo wings clearly marked with his wife’s name. But these were no ordinary wings.
“I spiced them up just a little with some Blair’s 4am Reserve,” he wrote. “I note you are meant to dilute it with one drop per five liters of liquid. So I added a couple of drops of Blair’s 4am Reserve per wing with nice dusting of ghost chili powder for good measure.”
“He ran to the toilet and vomited over and over. Apparently the moans sounded like he was dying.”
This wasn’t a meal—it was a culinary weapon. Before the witching hour of lunchtime, there was a scream from the kitchen. The lots had been cast and a young male colleague (a subordinate!) was reaping what he had sown.
“He ate fast so as not to get caught, sucked the meat of the first one and was chewing on the second before he realized,” wrote u/ToastedChillies. “He ran to the toilet and vomited over and over. Apparently the moans sounded like he was dying. My wife just sat there innocently pretending nothing was wrong. Needless to say she has not lost a single lunch since.”
The offending colleague is reportedly no longer able to look the redditor’s wife in the eye.
“He knew she set him up. I intend to ask him one day if he enjoyed my wife’s lunch. […] Usually selfish people [like] that don’t know that they don’t love Blair’s 4am Reserve.”
For context’s sake, here’s a video of an overcompensatory bro being tamed by one ghost chili. The rascally redditor responsible for this story doled out a punishment many times more severe than what you’ll see below.
Screengrab via tedbarus/YouTube
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Dylan Love is an editorial consultant and journalist whose reporting interests include emergent technology, digital media, and Russian language and culture. He is a former staff writer for the Daily Dot, and his work has been published by Business Insider, International Business Times, Men's Journal, and the Next Web.