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@vaatsalya.c/TikTok @dekambhali/TikTok @kasiamertuszka/TikTok

‘Honestly less painful to do than reaching out’: TikTokers are sharing ‘no contact journals’ they started to get over their exes

'I would rather write 200 pages than break no contact.'


Charlotte Colombo

Internet Culture

Posted on Sep 7, 2023

Breakups suck, I know. But chances are, going back on ‘no contact’ will make you feel worse in the long run.

For those uninitiated, going ‘no contact’ refers to the long-established practice of cutting the other person off once your relationship (or situationship) comes to an end. Sometimes, this is mutually agreed. Other times, it’s a decision one person makes in order to heal and move on from the relationship properly. However someone gets into ‘no contact,’ the fundamental rule is the same: do not reach out to the other person!

But this rule is a lot easier said than done. That’s probably why TikTok has built such a large community of people supporting each other and documenting their own ‘no contact’ journeys, with the ‘no contact’ tag on TikTok amassing a huge 1.6 billion views.

And the latest ingenious ways TikTokers are committing to ‘no contact’ is through ‘no contact journals.’

Like other journalling exercises, the basic premise of the ‘no contact journal’ is to write down everything you want to say to the person in a notebook or notes app to stave off the temptation to actually reach out to them.

As the ‘no contact journal’ rises in popularity, several TikToks of people showing their filled notebooks and multi-page documents have gone viral. TikToker Nichole Stone (@nicholestone), who shared her no-contact journal with nearly 1 million viewers, noted in the video description that it’s “less painful to do than reaching out,” while Emily (@delmyfloresss) added in her video of over 3 million views that she was “finally starting to detach” thanks to the practice.

Deka Mbhali (@dekambhali), whose no-contact journal took the form of a lengthy Word document, added in her TikTok description that “the beauty about journaling is that you get to look back and see the change.”

“Journaling has brought me so much peace and helped me detach from certain situations,” Intan (@booklingwitch) added in their own TikTok showcasing their no-contact journal. Multiple other TikTokers participating in this trend said they were setting out for a “healing girl summer,” with user Kas (@kasiamertuszka) noting in her video, “I would rather write 200 pages than break no contact.”

Across all these videos, commenters going through no-contact were inspired by the trend. “It’s helping me a lot,” one commenter said. “It has become such a huge therapeutic part of my healing,” another added.

“And one day, you just won’t have the urge to reach out anymore,” a third commenter said.


trust me on this i’m a pro lol

♬ suara asli – adit – Hystyle

For those wanting to make their own no-contact journal, TikToker Madeline (@madxmill) provided some suggestions on how to do just that. In her video, she recommended that journalers set goals for themselves, note their wins for the week, write down the bad moments “so [they] don’t romanticize,” and write what they think they can learn from the experience.

Let the healing girl summer (autumn?) commence.

Daily Dot reached out to all the TikTokers mentioned in this article by either email, Instagram direct message, or TikTok direct message. None of them immediately replied at the time of this piece’s publication.

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*First Published: Sep 7, 2023, 11:24 am CDT