- Is Jacob Wohl evading his Twitter ban with Jack Burkman’s account? Today 2:06 PM
- Biden’s most perplexing debate answers, explained Today 2:03 PM
- How to stream Colts vs. Texans on Thursday Night Football Today 12:52 PM
- Netflix drops ‘A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby’ trailer Today 12:43 PM
- Uber says it will audio-record rides to address safety concerns Today 12:41 PM
- ‘Avengers: Endgame’ writers go in-depth on how they decided which superheroes lived and died Today 12:22 PM
- How to watch Duke vs. Cal in the 2K Empire classic Today 12:09 PM
- Trump’s impeachment notes get riffed into punk songs Today 12:01 PM
- Pete Buttigieg can’t do the Pete Buttigieg dance Today 11:55 AM
- How a woman’s cold ‘rejection form’ text message became an ’emotional labor’ meme Today 11:52 AM
- How to watch Texas vs. Georgetown in the 2K Empire classic Today 11:40 AM
- Apple cancels premiere of original film ‘The Banker’ amid sexual abuse allegations Today 11:25 AM
- Congress passes bill to safeguard Hong Kong, protesters Today 11:15 AM
- Conquer Black Friday and Cyber Monday, whether you’re shopping online or IRL Today 10:40 AM
- #DeadUploadDay: YouTubers fight new rules for monetizing kids videos Today 10:39 AM
Monster Energy drinks are, quite frankly, the work of the devil. The stuff tastes like the carbonated urine of chthonic hellbeasts. But is the Monster corporation really, truly, literally in league with Satan, and can this connection be proved by amateur Hebrew cryptography?
I’m gonna go with a big fat no, but this woman thinks otherwise. Let’s hear her out. (Editor’s note: The video has been deleted.)
I present to you a can of Monster Energy. Notice the M logo. See anything odd about it? Each minim of the letter M looks like the Hebrew letter vav (ו), or 6. Put three of those together and you get vav vav vav, ווו, or 666.
But! In Hebrew, “666” does not look like three vavs—it looks like “six hundred and sixty-six,” or סרתו (samech resh tav vav).
OK, so that theory doesn’t hold up. Stay seated. Satan Lady has a lot more.
How about how the o in the Monster logo has a cross through it? Satan Lady thought Monster might be a Christian company, but then she read some of Monster’s ad copy and decided “Big Fucking Can” and “MILFs love it” weren’t exactly pro-Jesus sentiments. The only possible explanation, says Satan Lady, is that the cross turns into a subversive witch symbol when turned upside-down. “Bottoms up,” she says, pretending to drink her Monster can.
On top of that, how about Monster’s slogan, “Unleash the Beast”? Coincidence… or Satan?
The Monster Energy Satan theory has been creeping around the Internet for years now. You can see why. It’s ridiculous, but there are enough threads for tin-hatters to latch onto.
Snopes forums debated it in 2007. ReligiousForums.com discovered the mark of the beast in 2008 (see below). Members of Christian message board ChristianChat.com wrote a breakdown of the Hebrew in 2013.
Perhaps the greatest evidence for Satan’s influence on Monster Energy is the conspiracy’s longevity. Somewhere in the umpteenth circle of the underworld, there’s a mythical beast in need of a caffeine kick, and Hell is all out of Red Bull.
A former assigning editor for the Daily Dot, Cooper Fleishman's work focused on the web culture and niche internet communities. He joined Mic as a senior editor in 2015. His work has been published by HyperVocal and the Good Men Project, and he previously copyedited for Rolling Stone, Men's Journal, and Us Weekly.