Martha Stewart is not an ordinary person by any means. The lifestyle magnate, convicted felon, and famed roaster has led several lives, but her behavior on social media has frequently been called into question. In 2013, for example, Stewart was shamed by the Internet at large for sharing “disgusting” food photos on Twitter.
Let’s examine the evidence, starting with her username: Marthastewart48. In an age where parents reserve Gmail addresses for their children, Stewart bucks the branding trend by adding a “48” to her name. It’s completely anonymous.
Her photo? The default gray headshot. If you were expecting a smiling shot of the septuagenarian, or maybe a pic of her grandson, you will be disappointed. Martha is an egg (probably one lightly boiled for seven and a half minutes to pure perfection).
And her caption work is the stuff of legends. Let’s examine this shot she posted before an appearance as a guest host on The View.
Or this plain-ass lunch she had delivered to her desk:
Halibut and “green salad.” Freaking nice. No gratuitous, goopy cheese shots or extra-bloody burgers here. This is clean, normal food, and she wants her audience to understand that her life doesn’t need any fancy editing.
She is Martha, she is a god.