zombie knives

Photo via Cutlery Corner / Twitter

Why is there a 24/7 knife infomercial channel, anyway?

When you signed up for Twitter, you probably didn’t think “a bot that posts snippets of deranged knife infomercials” was what you were hoping to see. But allow us to make the case for LIVE KNIVES.

The account, from the makers of @QVCbot, grabs images and video snippets from Cutlery Corner’s 24-hour network, which is dedicated to selling you ridiculous knives all day long.

And there are just…so many knives, guys. Dragon necklace knife? You got it. Some sort of fantasy axe? Of course. A Donald Trump pocket knife with matching pickup truck display case? As if you even had to ask.

It’s not like Cutlery Corner needed the bot’s help, though. Its actual social media presence already feels like a fever dream.

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For your information, though, that zombie claw hand thing is 100-percent real, and someone should buy it for me.

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