- How to stream Real Madrid vs. Galatasaray in the Champions League Today 2:00 AM
- How to stream Atletico Madrid vs. Bayer Leverkusen in the Champions League Monday 11:00 PM
- Russian bots targeting Joe Biden on Instagram Monday 10:04 PM
- TikTok takes down 2 dozen ISIS accounts being used for recruitment Monday 9:38 PM
- British judge refuses to delay WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange’s extradition hearing Monday 8:01 PM
- Indicted Giuliani associate Lev Parnas’ private Instagram filled with Trump connections Monday 7:22 PM
- ‘Bomboclaat’ is the new ‘sco pa tu manaa’ Monday 7:00 PM
- Lori Harvey reportedly trying to walk away from car crash spawns memes Monday 6:00 PM
- In Netflix’s ‘Upstarts,’ Silicon Valley CEOs are the good guys Monday 4:35 PM
- This video of a tree struck by lightning is… relatable? Monday 4:13 PM
- How to watch ‘Keeping Faith’ Monday 3:37 PM
- ‘South Park’ at the center of $500 million streaming war Monday 3:16 PM
- Pizza Hut and Papa John’s employees pranked into talking to each other on the phone Monday 2:34 PM
- Twitter bullies brought Jordan Peterson to tears Monday 2:24 PM
- 25 last-minute Halloween costumes for those with no time to shop Monday 1:30 PM
Kanye West’s rules for fashion models are absurd—but these are worse
He didn’t go far enough.
Work as a fashion model is never easy—but serving as the live mannequin for Kanye West‘s clothes is reportedly a whole different pain in the ass.
Does this Snapchat image currently making the rounds really depict the rules of conduct for Kanye’s models on the runway, or is it just this easy to create a fake document written in the voice of an egomaniacal mogul?
For real, though: Kanye is at such a volatile, hysterical stage of celebrity right now that I’d put the odds of fakery here at 50-50. It’s literally just a Snapchat photo of a piece of paper, and nobody has confirmed its authenticity.
To prove my point, here are some additional “rules” we could easily add:
- DON’T THINK ABOUT YOUR HAIR OR HANDS
- WALK LIKE YOU ARE BEING PILOTED BY TINY ROBOTS
- DETECT GRAVITATIONAL WAVES
- RESEMBLE A FLOWER MADE OF SILKEN GARBAGE
- NO ENJOYMENT
- HOW ABOUT BLINKING LESS
- I’M NOT HAPPY IN MY MARRIAGE
- ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW CHILL BILL NYE IS
- STOP READING THIS
- ONE OF YOU WILL BETRAY ME, ANOTHER WILL DENY ME
- JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS
- [MAKE UP YOUR OWN RULE HERE AND FOLLOW IT]
- I WILL REPLACE YOU WITH A TINY HORSE IF I HAVE TO
- COCAINE IS FINE
- SANITY IS RELATIVE
- YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MEMORIZING AT LEAST 4 ~GOOD~ EPISODES OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE
- YOU ARE ALIVE
- YOU AREN’T NAKED—THOSE ARE THE CLOTHES
See? Now I’m an iconic, eccentric, power-mad designer. See you in Paris this spring.
Photo via Peter Hutchins/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'