Prepare to cringe.
If you’ve ever watched the underrated docuseries Locked Up Abroad, then you know how frightening it is to be put behind bars in an unfamiliar country. There was Duane, who attempted to smuggle cocaine out of Nicaragua. There was Sandra, who tried to bring heroin into Japan.
Although the last example wasn’t a Locked Up Abroad episode, it’s obviously the worst out of all the listed offenses. Which is why we now have a video of Amber and her husband, Johnny Depp, apologizing to the continent of Australia for their heinous crime.
In what is probably Johnny’s best performance since Edward Scissorhands, he backs up everything his wife says with effortless, wooden charm. While Amber, who is the real criminal here, goes into detail about why Pistol and Boo should’ve been declared and why Australia is the most awesomest place in the whole wide world, Johnny doesn’t even pretend to care about what’s going on.
Even as he says, “When you disrespect Australian law, they will tell you firmly,” his indifference to what he’s saying is Oscar-worthy.
Still, Amber broke the law and apparently had to make this awkward video so the Australian government wouldn’t lock them away for all of eternity.
But remember Erik? If not, his episode of Locked Up Abroad involved him spending two years in Pakistani jail after someone planted opium in his luggage. “You got off lucky, Amber. You got off real lucky,” Erik is most likely muttering to himself right now.
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