- Gabrielle Union deserves better from Terry Crews Tuesday 11:12 PM
- T.I. publicly apologizes to daughters after Kobe Bryant’s death Tuesday 8:46 PM
- ‘Squash the boss’: Labor union seemingly unknowingly posted furry fetish art Tuesday 8:04 PM
- TikTok user pretending to be lab technician who has contracted coronavirus Tuesday 7:08 PM
- Caroline Calloway says she plans to campaign for Bernie Sanders Tuesday 6:23 PM
- Justin Bieber, Snoop Dogg, millions of others sign petition to make Kobe Bryant new NBA logo Tuesday 5:39 PM
- No, Lana Del Rey did not cry because Billie Eilish won album of the year Tuesday 4:48 PM
- People are exposing their eyeballs to phone flash for this TikTok challenge Tuesday 3:55 PM
- Watch Mike Bloomberg try to shake a dog’s mouth Tuesday 3:41 PM
- ‘Rey who?’ is the funniest meme to emerge from ‘The Rise of Skywalker’ Tuesday 3:30 PM
- AI beat the CDC to the punch on coronavirus warnings Tuesday 3:21 PM
- What exactly is a ‘large boulder the size of a small boulder’? Tuesday 2:49 PM
- Mom of ‘Success Kid’ says Steve King can’t use her son’s meme for ‘repulsive’ campaign Tuesday 2:00 PM
- Jake Paul can’t escape Logan Paul’s shadow—even if that loyalty has hurt his career Tuesday 1:13 PM
- Kobe Bryant’s Oscar-winning ‘Dear Basketball’ is now available to stream for free (updated) Tuesday 12:21 PM
We couldn’t be more excited about Colobus Day!
In fourteen hundred ninety-two, colobus monkeys knew what to do.
Guys! Oh man, I’m almost too excited to type. Do you know what today is?
did i really just say “colobus” day.
— lil rem. (@Remializeee) October 22, 2014
That’s right! Colobus Day! Traditionally, the second Monday of October in the U.S. is reserved for the appreciation of the colobus, an Old World monkey known for its keen wit and exploratory instincts.
Why do we even have colobus day as a holiday? It’s so stupid.
— Ana Rodriguez (@Anamall_) October 13, 2014
No it’s not, Ana Rodriguez! Colobus Day is a great chance to remember that colobuses are amazing jumpers with fantastic tails—not to mention adorable. But while some people have Colobus Day off, many do not.
We should really have colobus day off
— tim (@Tim_Verby) October 14, 2014
Found out I got paid $13 an hour for working on colobus day!😄😄😄😄😄
— Justin Grabowski⚾ (@grabooo53) October 15, 2014
Tragic, no? It’s sad to think of anyone having to spend Colobus Day in a cubicle instead of at a zoo with a colobus exhibit, or hiking into the African jungles where wild colobuses make their home. That’s why we’re here to give you all the colobuses you can handle.
Like, check out this colobus, for one.
Or this one!
Please note this colobus as well:
This colobus has a baby colobus, y’all!
Meanwhile, this colobus knows what’s up:
A photo posted by Andy (@anthrokive) on
Colobuses love luxury:
A photo posted by tarangehlot (@tarangehlot) on
And they don’t always see eye to eye…
A photo posted by Lizzie Ryan (@lizzie.c.ryan) on
But there’s one thing they’ll always be: colobuses.
And no matter how many Colobus Days you’ve lived through, you always learn something new about colobuses on this wonderful occasion.
The red colobus monkey eats leaves and then it just farts all day
— rat boy (@venognat) February 20, 2015
With all the joy colobus monkeys bring us year in and year out, it really is hard to imagine why anyone is against the tradition of Colobus Day.
I can understand all the controversy surrounding Colobus Day. Who trusts a monkey without thumbs?
— Kaiser (@VonKaiser) October 14, 2014
We do, @VonKaiser. We do.
Photo via [email protected]/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'