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Underage drinker avoids ticket by beating police at Rock Paper Scissors
Good ol’ rock—nothing beats that.
In the closest Vine equivalent to the plot of “The Devil Went Down To Georgia,” an almost certainly intoxicated underage drinker at Chilifest, an annual country music festival in Texas, was faced with the ultimate challenge: Win a game of Rock Paper Scissors or face the wrath of law enforcement.
This is the single best Vine on the internet. It’s perfect. Let’s break it down.
Beat one: Set up the stakes. A voice says “You’re free to go” in a way that suggests that freedom is contingent on what happens next.
Beat two: Establish the game. The fists drop in classic RPS form.
Beat three: Ratchet up the drama. What’s she going to throw?
Beat four: Rock.
Beat five: The slightest of pauses. Did she win?
Beat six: The reaction. “OHHHHHHHHH!” Yes, she did. Pandemonium.
Beat seven: The face.
Beat eight: The cops ride off into the distance.
From another angle:
Hey, this is one of my good friends and she doesn’t want gifs and posts of this going up all over the internet and would really appreciate it if this post was removed.
Yeah, good luck with that, especially considering that the girl who hugs her is wearing a Tri-Delta shirt, which should make identifying either a cinch.
And besides, this incident teaches a valuable lesson: What do you do when your freedom is on the line? Throw a rock at a cop. (Note: do not throw rocks at cops under any circumstances aside from these.)
Update 2:03pm CT, April 14: An earlier version of this article incorrectly identified the responding officers as members of the College Station Police Department. They have since denied any involvement.
Spike Friedman is a comedian and writer who has contributed to Deadspin, Paste, Mental Floss, Grantland, and others. He performed on the house team for the Upright Citizens Brigade in New York.