- Lawsuit alleges YouTube’s unboxing videos are ‘abusive’ ads aimed at kids Sunday 3:48 PM
- Dr. Dre shades Lori Loughlin with Instagram flex about his daughter getting into USC Sunday 3:13 PM
- University of Georgia frat’s racist Snapchat video draws campus outrage Sunday 1:21 PM
- Facing criticism for eating fish, vegan YouTube star Rawvana speaks out Sunday 10:47 AM
- Arnold Schwarzenegger chases mini-pony in new TikTok video Sunday 9:19 AM
- Review: ‘Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice’ is a cut above the rest Sunday 8:00 AM
- Where do 2020 Democratic candidates stand on healthcare? Sunday 7:30 AM
- How to (legally) stream live TV on Kodi Sunday 7:00 AM
- ‘Delhi Crime’ tackles inequality and women’s rights Sunday 7:00 AM
- How to watch the 2019 STP 500 at Martinsville Speedway for free Sunday 6:00 AM
- These high school theater kids put on a totally awesome ‘Alien’ play Saturday 3:59 PM
- Behold these photos of Elon Musk, but with Elizabeth Holmes’ eyes Saturday 3:11 PM
- Barbra Streisand gets ‘canceled’ over remarks about Michael Jackson’s alleged victims Saturday 2:09 PM
- Report: Florida man raped Texas teen after posing as Instagram celeb Saturday 12:14 PM
- Lori Loughlin’s daughters, Olivia and Isabella, could be banned from USC forever Saturday 11:46 AM
Finally we know why that shawty was wearing two pairs of pants.
Flo Rida’s 2007 hit “Low” was the rapper’s first single. It was co-written by T-Pain, hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100, and was featured in the movie Step Up 2: The Streets. Point being, we’ve probably all heard it a few million times.
But take one more listen.
In the song, the “shawty” seems to be wearing two pairs of shoes and two pairs of pants. First, she’s wearing “apple-bottom jeans” and “boots with the fur,” then she’s in “baggy sweatpants” and “Reeboks with the straps.”
This leads to only one possible conclusion: She’s a centaur.
The girl Flo Rida sings about in Low was wearing apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, baggy sweatpants, AND reeboks with the straps all at the same time so we must conclude that she was, in fact, a centaur. In this essay I will
— Splenda Pappy (@caroline_oreo) March 26, 2018
To be fair, @caroline_oreo wasn’t the first one to point this out. A user named @forclosers said the woman in the song was wearing either double pants and shoes—or she had four legs.
if shawty had both them apple bottom jeans AND the baggy sweatpants, and she had the boots with the fur AND the reeboks with the straps
no wonder the whole club was looking at her. she (at least) was wearing two pairs of pants and two different shoes, or (at most) had FOUR LEGS
— 🍑? (@forcIosers) February 11, 2018
But @caroline_oreo was the first one who proposed the centaur theory that neatly explained everything. At first glance, it seems undeniable. People even started making fan art, of both the cute variety…
done. it’s trash please don’t bully me pic.twitter.com/zUvV84OsZ5
— Love, Sam (@Sam_the_tommo) March 27, 2018
…and the more risqué.
Of course, this is Twitter, so alternate theories started being thrown around.
Huh… I’ve always thought of this as two performers taking turns as the story’s narrator and not as two separate characters talking about the same girl.
— Natalie Nobre (@Natalie_Nobre) March 27, 2018
Is it possible that Mr Rida simply referred to her footwear in general terms initially as the 'boots with the fur' then again specifically by brand and styling? Not sure a Centaur has the opposable grip to 'work that pole'
— Paul Senter (@PADSenter) March 26, 2018
And naturally, the whole how dogs/horses/centaurs wear pants debate got drug up.
These are the only options. pic.twitter.com/zUQAmX3aOO
— Robert Aln Wendeborn (@rawbbie) March 27, 2018
Luckily, T-Pain himself jumped in before things got too out of control. He confirmed that, yes, the two-narrator theory was correct.
The first girl is dressed how Flo Rida likes. Second girls is dressed how I like. Flo likes a classy lady. I like a lazy bitch.
— T-Pain (@TPAIN) March 27, 2018
You would think that would be the end of the debate, but people were not about to let Mr. Pain off so easily.
I think that distinction is unclear in the song. Maybe you should have said, “a second shawty had baggy sweatpants…” otherwise, it’s a kerfuffle. The third one in a row concerning your lyrics. Tighten up sir!
— Ayoka (@ayokayejide) March 27, 2018
Why does TPain hate Centaurs.
— Chef Lu Bu (@Chef_Lu_Bu) March 28, 2018
Some days you just can’t win.
David Britton is a writer and comedian based in Rhinebeck, New York who focuses on internet culture, memes, and viral news stories. He also writes for the Hard Times and is the creator of StoriesAboutWizards.com.