- Let’s take a look at Captain Pike’s Starfleet service record in ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ 2 Years Ago
- How to watch Demetrius Andrade vs. Artur Akavov for free Today 7:00 AM
- Ariana Grande’s new single ‘7 Rings’ has Twitter feeling broke Today 6:30 AM
- The end of an era: RIP, Critique My Dick Pic Today 6:30 AM
- Mastodon is crumbling—and many blame its creator Today 6:00 AM
- ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ hints at Spock’s new role in the season 2 premiere Today 6:00 AM
- How to watch ‘Rachel Maddow’ online for free Today 5:30 AM
- Guy who wants to fund the border wall has privately raised $7 million Thursday 8:41 PM
- Mortal Kombat 11 trailer delights fans with gory fatalities, new characters Thursday 5:46 PM
- What you need to know about the data breach involving 773 email addresses Thursday 5:13 PM
- Senators fear government shutdown may affect FTC investigation of Facebook Thursday 3:43 PM
- Buy beer for a furloughed government worker with this new website Thursday 3:19 PM
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is teaching Congress how to tweet Thursday 2:42 PM
- Congressmen held genetics meeting with Chuck Johnson, despite his past racist claims about genetics Thursday 2:26 PM
- Female bodyguard thriller ‘Close’ is disappointingly un-thrilling Thursday 2:01 PM
Woman tells terminal friend Trump was impeached to let him die in peace
Photo by Gage Skidmore/Flickr (CC-BY-SA)
Tragedy and comedy sometimes overlap so closely they’re almost indistinguishable. Sometimes we all feel a little like Dolly Parton’s character in Steel Magnolias, who famously said, “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.”
After all, what can you do but laugh when you hear that, in order to comfort a dying friend, a woman in Oregon told a man that Donald Trump had been impeached.
Michael Elliott passed away peacefully on April 6, surrounded by friends, one of whom was his ex-wife Teresa. Here is the final paragraph of his obituary:
Mike ran out of family long ago and is survived by his ex-wife and best friend, Teresa Elliott. Though their marriage ran aground, their friendship only grew stronger and hers was the last voice Mike heard. And the last thing she said to him was “Donald Trump has been impeached.” Upon hearing that he took his final, gentle breath, his earthly work concluded. Mike will be forever missed but never forgotten. A proper memorial is planned for August.
Elliott, like Trump, was also an avid golfer, but clearly had no love for the reality star turned president. Perhaps because of Trump’s stand on transgender issues. After graduating from college, Elliott spent a few years playing semi-pro basketball on a team that toured the country playing exhibition games dressed as women. On the team, Elliott was known as ‘Shaggy Maggie.’
Goodbye Mike, you seemed like a cool guy. The rest of us will struggle on as best we can with our lives unfortunately grounded in reality.
David Britton is a writer and comedian based in Rhinebeck, New York who focuses on internet culture, memes, and viral news stories. He also writes for the Hard Times and is the creator of StoriesAboutWizards.com.