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Do you ever run out of coffee while you’re on “the go,” and wish you had a portable brewing device that looks like a copper pipe, so you can enjoy freshly brewed coffee while looking like an old-timey steampunk smoker? Of course you don’t. But Bripe exists anyway, and Weird Twitter is mystified by it.https://twitter.com/markpopham/status/907607115073810432
Podcaster and good tweeter Mark Popham brought Bripe to the internet’s attention Tuesday morning, and the reaction was 50 shades of “What the f**k?” The product bills itself as a “portable coffee brew pipe,” but many struggled to understand what that means and why it’s supposed to be good.https://twitter.com/markpopham/status/907607638606786560 https://twitter.com/vickorano/status/907613607973855232 https://twitter.com/Convolver/status/907610558005948416
"When you want to look like you're ripping a bongload, but you're just having some coffee: BRIPE"— Keith Maniac (@CutItOutPutin) September 12, 2017
this is just a legal way to sell pipes to meth heads right, like how head shops only sell 'tobacco' bowls? THE CRYSTAL PISTOL *tm pending*— Jo O'Donnell ⚘ (@bowtiednomad) September 12, 2017
Juicero: Look at my works and despair!— Gryphoneer (@gryphoneer) September 12, 2017
Bripe: Hold my beer.
Oh god, it took me way to long to figure out that it's a portmanteau of brewing pipe....— Ali (@wisdomstatement) September 12, 2017
We're literally just running out of names for things.— Commissar of Takes (@turnageb) September 12, 2017
The Bripe website is “briping.com,” implying that “Bripe” is supposed to be a verb, like the much-maligned “vape.” But vapes at least have an advantage over traditional cigarettes. What does Bripe have over, say, a travel mug? Or a coffee shop? Well, here’s one possibility:
FINALLY a way to drink coffee and look just as friggin' sick as when I vape.— Matthew JSt. (@Mattzors) September 12, 2017
Sold. I will take one of your finest artisanal Bripes, please.
Seriously, though: There have been some positive reviews of the Bripe, although the process for portable brewing coffee seems complicated and easy to screw up. The last thing I want to do before I’ve had my coffee is operate a handheld torch. But if you’re hanging out by a waterfall in the jungle with no other way to get your caffeine fix, you’ll probably wish you had one.
Despite his bemusement at the Bripe’s existence, Popham thinks he might want one. At the very least, he’s offering to give it a fair review.https://twitter.com/markpopham/status/907609785666871297 https://twitter.com/markpopham/status/907609893842116608
Please send him one, Bripe founders. Weird Twitter demands answers to its burning Bripe questions.
Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.