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Clowns are everywhere nowadays. As if the apocalyptic threat of a Donald Trump presidency hasn’t been scary enough, there’s been an uptick in creepy clown sightings all across the U.S.
Have a look at this jackass jester caught by police doing god knows what to a fire hydrant in Virginia.
Pretty eye-catching right? Such a striking aesthetic is the perfect way to really stand out as a brand. Imagine the engagement when you serve up that $5 footlong with a side of night terrors.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, brands. How the hell am I gonna find such a creepy clown without becoming part of a vigilante group hellbent on taking these fools out?
Enter Brian the Clown, a mascot just creepy enough to bring those customers running.
“I recently came up with this potentially ‘dumbest business idea’ of trying to get endorsement deals from big brands using a fictional character.
So I created this creepy clown named Brian,” Brian the Clown told the Daily Dot. “If there’s enough traction, maybe a huge ass brand may just go ahead with it.”
Subway, is this fresh enough?
Visine, open your eyes! This guy’s got the look.
Brian the Clown has made faux endorsements for 26 real brands, from Durex to MasterCard. Dude is slaying the branding game.
Giant corporations: snatch this guy up before he goes on some type of rampage or pops up at your headquarters in the wee hours of the night. Please. Your employees will thank you for saving them the vacation time they’d burn for fear of running into this chucklefuck if he doesn’t get his endorsement deal.
Clowns drive a hard bargain. You really should just go with it.
A former Weekend Editor at the Daily Dot, April Siese's reporting covers everything from technology and politics to web culture and humor. Her work has been published by Bustle, Uproxx, Death and Taxes, Rolling Stone, the Daily Beast, Thrillist, Atlas Obscura, and others. Siese joined Quartz in December 2016.