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Photo via Brian The Clown/Facebook

Let this creepy clown endorse your stupid brand

'Why Bieber when you can Brian, right?'


April Siese

Internet Culture

Posted on Sep 30, 2016   Updated on Aug 17, 2020, 11:13 am CDT

Clowns are everywhere nowadays. As if the apocalyptic threat of a Donald Trump presidency hasn’t been scary enough, there’s been an uptick in creepy clown sightings all across the U.S.

Have a look at this jackass jester caught by police doing god knows what to a fire hydrant in Virginia.

Pretty eye-catching right? Such a striking aesthetic is the perfect way to really stand out as a brand. Imagine the engagement when you serve up that $5 footlong with a side of night terrors.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, brands. How the hell am I gonna find such a creepy clown without becoming part of a vigilante group hellbent on taking these fools out?

Enter Brian the Clown, a mascot just creepy enough to bring those customers running.

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“I recently came up with this potentially ‘dumbest business idea’ of trying to get endorsement deals from big brands using a fictional character.

So I created this creepy clown named Brian,” Brian the Clown told the Daily Dot. “If there’s enough traction, maybe a huge ass brand may just go ahead with it.”

Subway, is this fresh enough?

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Visine, open your eyes! This guy’s got the look.

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Brian the Clown has made faux endorsements for 26 real brands, from Durex to MasterCard. Dude is slaying the branding game.

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Giant corporations: snatch this guy up before he goes on some type of rampage or pops up at your headquarters in the wee hours of the night. Please. Your employees will thank you for saving them the vacation time they’d burn for fear of running into this chucklefuck if he doesn’t get his endorsement deal.

Clowns drive a hard bargain. You really should just go with it.

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*First Published: Sep 30, 2016, 4:54 pm CDT