Barnes and Noble wants to get readers lit by selling alcohol

Barnes and Noble is the place you go when you want to buy a Dan Brown novel for your friend who enjoys reading Dan Brown novels.

Barnes and Noble is a good place to take a nap.

Barnes and Noble is where you take a date when you want them to think you’re literate, smart, or a poet who doesn’t know where to buy used books.

Barnes and Noble is the way-too humongous bookstore that’s perfect for whenever you have nowhere else to go.

Barnes and Noble is now the place where you can get fucking wasted.

That’s right. “Some” Barnes and Noble locations will soon sell beer and wine, which means you’ll have a more sophisticated place to pre-game. 

This is huge news for people who enjoy a nice Merlot while reading Nietzsche, or want to feel a light buzz as they flip through Mrs. Dalloway and sip on Chardonnay, or need to down multiple cans of PBR before drunkenly attempting to read Miles Klee’s latest novel. (Editor’s note: Barnes and Noble does not carry my books, but you can easily buy them online while knocking back whiskey shots.)

For more information on this epic announcement, watch this:

Yes, along with the opportunity to get blackout drunk in the Astrology section on a Friday night, you can dine on some fine cuisine after you wake up from your stupor. From here it’s just a matter of time before Barnes and Noble becomes a weed dispensary as well. But until you’re allowed to roll a fat one in Science Fiction, you can always sneak in some edibles.  

So thank you, Barnes and Noble. You didn’t have to do this, but you’re really feeling yourself lately, so you did. And for that, we’re all like: