A new variation on the find “X” in a crowd meme—where you shout something the person you’re looking for would find offensive and need to correct—is sweeping Twitter. Similar to the shave and a haircut bit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the meme format involves a person hiding under the bed from an armed robber. The robber says something that the person can’t help but respond to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWdCQqAJxS0
‘Armed Robber’ memes
The meme seems to have started in late August, with this tweet by user @Real_jeaflex.
Me* hiding under the bed*
— Jae (@Real_jaeflex) August 26, 2019
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed Robber:
Me:
Armed Robber: Brown Skin Girl
Me: YOUR SKIN JUST LIKE PEARLLLLLLLL!!!
Quite a lot of the ones that came next also feature song lyrics, often from songs with particular resonance for age or cultural groups.
Me, aging femme planning her commune hiding under the bed:
— Mx. Amadi Lovelace Has Left This Place (@amaditalks) September 1, 2019
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber: Thank you for being a friend
Me: TRAVELED DOWN A ROAD AND BACK AGAIN well damn https://t.co/MHmbk0987S
me: Philadelphian, hiding under the bed
— tasty jawn (she/ her) (@dopegirlfresh) August 31, 2019
armed robber:
me:
armed robber: ::plays “flipside”::
me: QUE TU QUIERE MUJERE SHE SAY SHE BLOW LA LA https://t.co/hBkyJBEdB6
https://twitter.com/bkerogers/status/1168579165957906434
Me, an aging homosexual hiding under the bed:
— Daniel Summers (@WFKARS) September 2, 2019
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber: Come on girls, do you believe in love?
Me: CAUSE I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT https://t.co/icW47J6yKi
People are also sharing their professional pet peeves.
Me, a journalist, hiding under the bed:
— Oliver Sachgau (@sachgau) September 3, 2019
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber: Can’t believe the Amazon is burning and the MSM is completely ignoring it.
Me: WHERE DID YOU HEAR ABOUT IT THEN???
https://twitter.com/biochembelle/status/1168702828941996032
https://twitter.com/alaskakik/status/1168828666609930240
Including Dr. Jen Gunter, the internet’s favorite gynaecologist (don’t read the follow-up comments, people are gross).
Me: a gynecologist hiding under the bed
— Jennifer Gunter (@DrJenGunter) September 3, 2019
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber: The preborn..
Me: IT’S A GODDAMN FETUS https://t.co/oU8qI48QOO
Grammar came up a lot, because if there’s one thing people like to be persnickety about on the internet, it’s grammar.
Me, an English prof hiding under the bed:
— Sarah Rothschild (@SarahRothschil5) September 3, 2019
Armed robber: me and my gun are going to kill you…
Me: It’s “my gun and I,” for fuck’s sake!
@DanSlott made one for you, hope you have a good laugh this morning.
— Josh Saleh (@JoshDSaleh) September 3, 2019
Dan hiding under the bed
Armed robber:
Dan:
Armed robber:
Dan:
Armed robber: I Love SpiderMan
Me: You forgot the Hyphen!
Armed Robber: AHA!
And naturally, Fandom Twitter got in on it.
https://twitter.com/danniK80/status/1168837254971891713
Me (a child of the 80s and 90s) *hiding under the bed*
— Matt is Ready for some Football (@mattamat1cs) September 3, 2019
Armed Robber:
Me:
Armed Robber:
Me:
Armed Robber: Where in the world…
Me: IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?! https://t.co/pXOUlZF8wW
Me, hiding under the bed:
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) September 3, 2019
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber: Valjean, at last, we see each other plain
me: *sweats profusely*
armed robber: Monsieur Le Maire, you’ll wear a different chain
Me: BEFORE YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD JAVERT
Then there were the more personal ones.
Me, a criminal defense lawyer hiding under the bed:
— Criminelle Law (@CriminelleLaw) September 3, 2019
Armed robber:
Me:
*sirens and blue lights*
Armed robber: oh sh*t the cops are here!
Me: *slides business card out from under dust ruffle* don’t give evidence against yourself fam https://t.co/auyODEIqUA
https://twitter.com/candyperfumeb0y/status/1168837577392173057
Some of which are pretty relatable, even if you’re not a skin bitch or cat person.
Me: a skin bitch hiding under the bed
— Caroline Hirons (@CarolineHirons) September 3, 2019
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber: LOOK AT ALL THESE CLEANSERS!
Me: DON’T TOUCH MY F’ING TATA SHIT https://t.co/ZnbZrw73jx
Me, a cat owner, hiding under the bed:
— Elle Has Cats (and ADHD) (@ellle_em) September 3, 2019
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber: [makes cat horking noises]
Me: NO NOT ON THE RUG ah crap https://t.co/Yzs5oifUN5
Plus a quick jab at internet reply guys.
https://twitter.com/crkmccabe/status/1168835332181307393
There’s still time to get on this yourself so go ahead and tweet what would get you out from under the bed.
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