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Phoenix’s US Airways Center hasn’t seen this much action since Barkley and Jordan squared off in the 1992-93 NBA Finals.

The NFL Media Day, generally the Tuesday prior to the Super Bowl, is a crapshoot that can range from a total snoozefest to a highlight reel worthy of an NFL Films classic or 30 for 30 documentary. Luckily, the usual navel-gazing in downtown Phoenix (high of 75 degrees) prior to Super Bowl XLIX had some moments that were too precious, narcissistic, funny, and just plain weird.

In order to accommodate media sorts, who are more likely staying in Scottsdale, Ariz., or downtown Phoenix rather than lodging-challenged Glendale, Ariz., the NFL took over the home of the Phoenix Suns Tuesday where the New England Patriots and Seattle Seahawks took turns glad-handing, pontificating, taking selfies, and just plain trying to get out alive in time for happy hour. And now, for the highlights.

First, Marshawn Lynch speaks. Or does he? He sure knows how to rock those headphones.

Silence is golden, it appears. Beast Mode grabs some lofty social media numbers.

Associated Press writer John Marshall is harassed by a strange-looking hand puppet mascot.

Richard Sherman would rather take a dip than speak to the media

Hall of Famer Warren Sapp shows off some pants he put on in the dark.

Ricardo Lockette gets a free haircut.

Local fave and former University of Arizona star Rob Gronkowski entertains the crowd with erotic fanfiction, dance moves, and charm.

In a Super Bowl halftime preview, Gronk belts out a Katy Perry tune.

Jerod Mayo’s daughter, Chya, is the real star of the day

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Shameless plug for the hometown mascot. Too bad he can’t play quarterback.

Kam Chancellor with a glare that commands fear on the field, respect off.

Seattle wide receiver Doug Baldwin throws a challenge at New England cornerback, Darrelle Revis.

Kickers get their due—Steven Hauschka interviewed away from the maddening crowd.

The Pats curiously make their way into the arena. I think the basketball hoops threw them

Coach Bill Belichick takes on the media in his flip-flops.

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Slick as goose guts on a doorknob—Russell Wilson lives for the big stage

Selfie’s rule.

But Julian Edelman’s is best

As a beautiful Phoenix sunset looms, reporters of all manner of media head off to file their stories, and the players move on to luxurious sponsor dinners, us mere mortals who have to live vicariously through livestreams and social quips begin the countdown to Sunday’s kickoff.

Screengrab via Fancy Mojo/YouTube

Allen Weiner

Allen Weiner

Allen Weiner has been a market research analyst in the area of new media and technology since 1994. He’s worked as writer, publisher and newspaper executive. He is the co-founder and publisher of Kombucha Network and the former managing vice president of Gartner.