A group of women at a birthday dinner attempted to convince the only man seated at the table to cover the costs of their meals after he asked for separate checks.
In a TikTok uploaded by user @djdotjerry, a man’s request for separate checks sparked a viral debate. Many users applauded him for his decision to not be used as a mobile wallet with a pulse, while others criticized “the audacity” of the women who thought they were owed a free meal.
“Can you separate it? I got the birthday girl and my wife,” the man tells the server, which elicits a series of responses from other women sitting across from him. “Separate it?” they ask nearly all at the same time.
“I’m sorry, you the only man at this table. Why would you want separate checks? It’s all women here,” one diner wearing a red hat asks him.
The man goes on to say that he isn’t “responsible” for paying for everyone seated at the table, and the women tell him that he’s the one who invited them out to dinner. He clarifies that he wasn’t the one who invited them out, and he would only cover the costs of whoever he brought to dinner along with the birthday girl.
A back-and-forth develops at the table as the women argue that they shouldn’t have to pay a dime just because he’s a man. Once it becomes clear that the man isn’t going to pay for everyone and the argument doesn’t show any signs of slowing down, the birthday girl chimes in and asks folks to not engage in this kind of monetary debate during her celebratory meal. Her request is largely ignored, as another woman seated next to her says that she isn’t going to throw in any money for the birthday meal because she didn’t order any food.
“It’s only $700,” the birthday girl tells the man while another woman says he’s “being cheap” for not covering the cost of the tab. Finally, the conversation gets turned to the man’s wife, and they ask her what she thinks about the fact he doesn’t want to pay their bills. She says she thinks her husband’s in the right and that they will understand the situation better once they’re married.
After she makes this remark, several of the women at the table try to get up and ditch the situation to leave him stuck paying for the meal. The birthday girl calls the situation “embarrassing” and tells the man it’s “ghetto” for him to ask to split checks because of the “establishment” that they’re in. It’s clear that every woman at the table, save for his wife, thinks he’s in the wrong for not paying for their meals.
The commenters who replied to @djdotjerry’s video seemed to possess an entirely different mindset when it comes to splitting checks, however, with many viewers shocked by the behavior displayed by the women in the clip.
One user applauded the man’s decision to not be taken advantage of in the moment: “Wow, the brother stood his ground and I respect that so much! And his wife was on point too!”
Someone else said, “Birthday girl saying she doesn’t split checks b/c it’s ghetto but yells across the restaurant arguing about splitting checks…”
Others shared their qualms with the assumption that he should pay simply because he’s a man. “The audacity to think he should pay because he’s the only man at the table,” one wrote. Another quipped, “Who made the rule that just because he’s the only man at the table…he has to pay. Don’t go out if you’re broke.”
One person wrote: “I am really sick of females thinking someone owe them something! He paid for his WIFE & BDAY GIRL.. THATS enough!”
Another commenter said that if they were in the man’s wife’s shoes, this interaction would ultimately ruin her relationship with the other women at the table. “And as a wife, that’s the day I go no contact with everyone else at that table, birthday girl included,” they wrote.
Someone else replied that it’s because of this exact scenario that they have stopped going out for birthday celebrations at restaurants altogether: “This is why I don’t do Birthday dinners at restaurants. And my man won’t be paying for everybody either.”
Some viewers thought that the interaction had to be staged. One user who weighed this possibility said that regardless, the clip does bring up a salient point about gender expectations. “Joke or staged? Nonetheless it’s ‘ghetto’ to EXPECT someone to pay for your meal as an adult. Keep it cute cash ap/zelle your portion you look [broke] arguing and borderline begging someone to pay,” they wrote.
@djdotjerry @mrsernestinemorrison Not us splitting the bill! So @SleepIs4Suckers plays credit card roulette with all his male entrepreneur friends but wants to split the check on @Donniwiggins_ birthday with all women at the table! The nerve! 🤣🤣 @MrsErnestineMorrison @Lovebrisimone @Salonsimoneatl @Lifewithamauhree @Rich_kandy Happy Birthday @DonniWiggins_ 💜
♬ original sound – Chocolate City
The gender double standard of “bill footing” when it comes to eating out is a topic that’s oft-discussed online in a variety of scenarios, especially in more intimate circumstances.
Some women have admitted to only using dating apps as a means of having someone else pay for food they are otherwise unwilling to pay for. These “foodie calls” as they are sometimes referred to, have led to several discussions on internet forums about the best ways to avoid such manipulation. A 2019 study also contained data that suggests around a third of heterosexual women on dating applications have only signed up for these services to connect with men who will pay for their grub.
The Daily Dot has reached out to @djdotjerry via TikTok comment for further information.