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Counter-protesters were prepared for the worst on Sunday, after the first Unite the Right rally—a gathering of chanting neo-Nazis and white supremacists—ended in dozens of injuries and the death of Heather Heyer last year. But its sequel in Washington, D.C., this weekend only garnered a few dozen people—and Twitter is having a ball riffing on this pitiful showing.
Not only did thousands of decent people show up to counter-protest Unite the Right 2, police and press were also there in scores, and each group vastly dwarfed the Unite the Right attendees, who numbered between 20 and 30 people. According to the organizer, Jason Kessler, many people on his side didn’t show up out of fear. Regardless of the reason, left-leaning people on Twitter were happy to see how far the numbers had fallen from last year.
The unite right march was so small I almost could nazi them.— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) August 13, 2018
By the way, Unite-the-Right, you need more than 7 people to call yourselves a Klan.— TrumpDefined (@TrumpDefined) August 12, 2018
the unite the right people showing up and only having like 25 people and then trump not even being at the white house is like when the griswalds show up to wally world and its closed but with some nazi flavor.— m i t h (@ManInTheHoody) August 12, 2018
After NPR drew criticism for allowing Jason Kessler to rank races by intelligence on the air, how the press would respond to Unite the Right 2 was at the forefront of people’s minds. Publications like the New York Times have also been heavily criticized for responding to the rise of Nazism by giving neo-Nazis and white supremacists platforms by profiling them. It might be harder for publications to find participants to interview now, but Twitter is sure they will manage to find a way.
Can’t wait for the New York Times to publish overly sympathetic profiles of all 30 individual white supremacists attending the Unite the Right rally today.— Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) August 12, 2018
While Kessler cited safety fears as the reason so few turned up, some people joked that it was, in fact, the anime convention Otakon that had prevented so many Nazis from attending.
To be fair, the Unite the Right crowd would have been larger if there wasn't an anime convention in DC held at the same time. Bad planning.— Julie Borowski (@JulieBorowski) August 13, 2018
People are already wondering what Unite the Right 3 could look like, and the speculation is wild.
Just left Unite the Right 2. Fewer than 40 Nazis showed up. Unite the Right 3 will be in Kessler's kitchen.— Nicholas Lefevre (@nlefevre) August 12, 2018
Unite The Right 3 pic.twitter.com/dn8AuFylP4— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) August 13, 2018
No riffing on alt-righters is complete without referencing conservative men’s apparent inability to clean and care for themselves like adults.
Attention mothers of racists: The #UniteTheRight rally is the perfect time to get that basement cleaned while your adult virgin son is out running around in an ill-fitting golf shirt and your bicycle helmet.— Dave Hill (@mrdavehill) August 12, 2018
The best anti-Nazi content came from the people on the ground in D.C., where people were physically standing against the bigotry and violence of white nationalists. Most notable was a person playing an anti-Trump light up tuba and a simple message left in chalk for the “alt-right” group the Proud Boys.
Let’s hope we won’t even have to joke about a third franchise next year.
Alex Dalbey is a writer and zinester currently living in Saint Paul, Minnesota. They have written for The Daily Dot, Kill Screen, The Lingerie Addict, and Bullet Points.