[Stares longingly at crimson-breasted northern cardinal chirping gaily while perched in a just-blooming tree outside my window, wishing I was anywhere but typing that last sentence.]
It all started, as most Twitter fights do, when someone did a tweet. In this instance, it was Daniels, who is suing the president for a variety of things, all involving an affair they reportedly had a dozen years ago. The tweet, though, was not related to the affair or Trump.
It was about drinking coffee.
Have you seen my tits? (Of course, you have) I don't jog anywhere. So I'll just sit here, sipping my coffee and talking shit. Xoxo https://t.co/fnsJ5SVcO2— Stormy Daniels (@StormyDaniels) May 3, 2018
How did drinking coffee progress to butt sex and Francis Scott Key’s American opus? Because Patricia Arquette (????) responded to talk about class after a woman said Daniels doesn’t speak for her.
Following this logic -If she doesn’t represent “classy women” I guess that means the President represents classless men? Hmm. Interesting. ..— Patricia Arquette (@PattyArquette) May 4, 2018
Barr, who is an advocate for Trump and whose highly-rated sitcom reboot has divided America, mentioned that Daniels did an anal scene, which, I don’t know. I don’t think has anything to do with anything. But she tweeted it.
BUT GUESS WHAT?
She hasn’t done an anal scene. And Stormy was swift to let her know.
I don't even do anal movies, you ignorant twat. That's like saying you are known for your beautiful rendition of The Star Spangled Banner. https://t.co/azOOZMDGdw— Stormy Daniels (@StormyDaniels) May 4, 2018
(If you didn’t get that insult, Roseanne once horribly botched the national anthem. Talk about a clapback callback.)
OK. But. Then someone who, like, probably should not have been part of this conversation at all said she did do an anal scene.
Not a big fan of that Roseanne, but Pornhub is filled with anal scenes of you @StormyDaniels— Anonymous 🍀⌛#CloversForAssange (@YourMarkLubbers) May 4, 2018
Stormy had an answer for that.
Not true. I have done over 200 movies over last 15 years.Only 1 scene with my husband was anal so get the facts straight. But it doesn't really matter. She tried using my job as a reason to discredit me. (Consensual) sexual choices does NOT make someone less of a human.— Stormy Daniels (@StormyDaniels) May 4, 2018
Anyways, this is a long-winded way of saying I wish I was a bird.
I wish I was a bird!!