guy fieri

Photo via James W. Photography/Shutterstock (Licensed)

Send help. And donkey sauce.
Guy Fieri was kind of back in the news on Friday. No, the discount Hot Topic wristband with a deep fryer didn't do anything notable. It was his Midtown Manhattan restaurant that got the spotlight.

Noted pharma douche Martin Shkreli chose the location for a meet-up after a faux Shkreli email chain turned journalists's inboxes upside down and started dominating the news cycle. He livestreamed it. And no one knows what he ordered (donkey sauce?) but dude wants to do it again next week. Apparently, Flavortown is Shkreli's kind of town.

Not so for @GuyFieri_ebooks, the bizarro Twitter bot spewing Fieri drivel, now mixed with dystopian pleas for help. Since launching in 2012, @GuyFieri_ebooks has been a champion of Flavortown and an inspiration to aspiring chefs.

Shortly after Shkreli left his booth on Friday, something strange started happening to @GuyFieri_ebooks. The bot appears to be trapped in the land of subpar bar food and idiotic cocktails.
Concerned for @GuyFieri_ebooks's well-being, I tweeted a GloZell-inspired "is you OK?" to check up on him. Judging by this response, either help is on the way or he's being held hostage by an anthropomorphic sack of Guy-talian Nachos overflowing with queso.
In fact, the only responses I received from the conflicted Fieri bot was "That's money." It's money all the way down, folks. Here's hoping there's just enough cash to bail out @GuyFieri_ebooks from Flavortown.
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martin shkreli
This fake Martin Shkreli email chain has destroyed journalism as we know it
Late Thursday night, a group of about 450 journalists received what appeared to be yet another annoying press release. The only upside was that it concerned Martin Shkreli, the infamous jerk who hiked an AIDS drug price by 5,000 percent. He's had his share of headlines this past year, having been arrested on securities fraud charges and purchased a million-dollar Wu-Tang Clan album limited to a single pressing.
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