Twitter has unveiled a new feature, and users are abuzz. Is it a way to opt out of seeing sponsored content? An actually functioning anti-harassment tool? Some improvement on whatever the hell “Moments” is supposed to be? Hahaha, no. It’s the ability to retweet yourself.
That’s right: One of the two people to retweet that tweet was me—the guy who tweeted it. I RT’d just in case some bozo follower wasn’t keeping close tabs on my timeline and needed a second chance to engage with my content. Sure, with old Twitter I could have tweet-quoted myself, like so:
But the self-RT is so sleek, so efficient, so futuristic. And if you already have a mountain of evergreen tweets in your history, so much the better for your personal brand, which will never grow stale as you endlessly recycle it. Welcome to the fountain of youth, bitches. Splash around, why don’t ya?
this thing is sick. i no longer have to create new content— Harold (@911VICTIM) June 14, 2016
Niggas can retweet they own tweets now smh ? Self promotion finna be thru the roof— a nigga (@groovydev) June 14, 2016
the arrow of time has been deflected from its once true path as we embrace hedonia and retweet ourselves— Bris Angel (@Cryptoterra) June 14, 2016
can't believe today is the day I learn for the first time what self esteem is after I'm able to retweet my own hilarious handcrafted tweets— taylor (@walkthemunoz) June 14, 2016
tom haverford voice: retweet yo self— Bailey Disler (@baytato) June 14, 2016
Me now that I can retweet my own tweets pic.twitter.com/FeD9cK6ZaA— Romeo Santos (@PallahAbdul) June 14, 2016
you can retweet yourself.. i can officially unfollow everyone because my tweets are all i need— matt (@lindsaydemeola) June 14, 2016
But before you go on a self-retweeting rampage, remember: There’s a right and a wrong (and an even wronger) way to do this. Don’t fuck it up!
I can't wait to unfollow everyone who self retweets unironically— buying cbd at the airport (@rachelmillman) June 14, 2016
I only retweet myself figuratively— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) June 14, 2016
And, naturally, there are some solid arguments for never self-RT’ing.
I'm not going to retweet myself. That's not my responsibility, that's YOUR job. And, frankly, you're not doing great.— Andrew (@andrews77777777) June 14, 2016
So, like, we're not actually going to retweet our own tweets, right?— Ariel Dumas (@ArielDumas) June 14, 2016
God help us if Trump ever finds out that he can retweet himself.— Chris Olivieri (@ChrisDAPS) June 14, 2016
Normal People: I love to RT myself— Chriskandar (@ElMeIloi) June 14, 2016
Me: That's not good
If you find yourself bewildered by all the nuances of this exciting new phase in the age of social media anxiety, however—or, God forbid, actually taking a side in the argument over it—just remember: Nobody actually cares.
USERS: we love twitter but it has problems— actioncookbook (@actioncookbook) January 5, 2016
TWITTER: great we'll fix them
USERS: do you want to know what they are
TWITTER: absolutely not