What Ello is

Ello is not about Ello. Ello is fuck Facebook. Ello is hot, new, and newhot. Ello is everything. Ello is broken. Ello is bigger than Ello. Ello is also smaller than Ello. Ello is right now, though Ello is not particularly ephemeral. Ello is like Tumblr, kind of, you should try it. No, Ello isn’t like that. Ello is a GIF of a GIF. Ello is FRIENDS & NOISE. Ello is sort of beautiful. Ello is inscrutable. Ello is yet-safe-footsteps. Ello understands us. Ello is disruptish. Ello is blowing up. Ello is dead. 


Ello is artisanal. Ello went local. Ello is Portland with a minimalist UX. Ello is not microtransactions. Ello may be microblogging. Ello is not open souce. Ello is a fixie. Ello is a is a high-tech fashion statement that fearlessly hops curbs.Ello is “why is search borked?” Ello is a $435,000 round of seed funding. Ello is just another thing to worry about. 


Ello is altcoin. Ello is a barren social landscape. Ello is not #mikebrown. Ello is the money always comes from somewhere. Ello has been to San Francisco but thought Blue Bottle was overrated. Ello is crisp, new fuck you.” Ello is you should be on diaspora. Ello is ASCII-esque.

Ello is wtf. Ello is not crypto. Ello reminds me of the old days. Ello is kinda queer. Ello is features coming soon. Ello is a silo. Ello is not brogramming. Ello is not the same silo as the other silo. Ello is not the cloud. Ello is mobile-last. Ello is sort of an accident. Ello is “do you have any invites to Ello?” Ello is pretty and manospaced. Ello is an ouroboros. Ello is your new avi.

Ello is the shape of our simplest dreams. Our dreams are not about Ello. Our dreams are not ambitious. Ello is not what we want; Ello is not what we don’t want. Our dreams are OK. Ello is not about our dreams. 

Image via Chris Isherwood (CC BY SA 2.0) | Remix by Jason Reed

Taylor Hatmaker

Taylor Hatmaker

Taylor Hatmaker has reported on the tech industry for nearly a decade, covering privacy and government. Most recently, she was the Debug editor of the Daily Dot. Prior to that, she was a staff writer and deputy editor at ReadWrite, a tech and business reporter for Yahoo News, and the senior editor of Tecca. Her editorial interests include censorship, digital activism, LGBTQ issues, and futurist consumer tech.