There’s been a lot of Hillary-hating this election season, with memes ironically comparing Clinton to opposing Democratic frontrunner Bernie Sanders, expletive-laden social media rants, and nutty right-wing campaigns to brand Clinton as a “war criminal” or “6th level Illuminati witch and sadistic slave monarch.”
Yet there are still plenty of people who adore Hillary Clinton. Sure, those numbers seem to have dropped a bit since her 2008 presidential campaign—but that’s to be expected when it comes to one of the most prominent politicians of our time. It’s like she’s your grandmother: You love her, but you also feel like she’s been around forever and isn’t going away any time soon, so you can relax for, like, the next ten years—at which point you will eventually have to worry about her impending death.
But that’s not true! You can’t relax! At least, not if you’re paying attention to the dozens of daily emails the Clinton campaign sends supporters, raving about the expanding Sanders support base and the millions of dollars ol’ Bernie has raised online. Clinton is feeling the heat, her supporters are struck by agony each time her polling numbers slip, and the caucuses are a confusing mess of Caucasian faces shouting out numbers in high school gymnasiums located somewhere in proximity to fields of corn.
At this point, only two things can save Clinton’s campaign. One is lots and lots of votes. The other is weirdness. That’s right: sheer, baffling, sometimes-creepy weirdness. It worked for Ted Cruz: the GOP contender (who is also the Zodiac Killer) was lagging in the polls until a book of haphazardly-written Christmas erotica, A Cruzmas Carol: Ted Cruz Takes a Dickens of a Constitutional, hit Kindle. Suddenly, he won Iowa—which no one expected, especially not those who plunked down $2.99 to read the horrifying tome about Cruz’s drunken search for “pussy” in Washington.
To continue celebrating the most bizarre creations inspired by presidential candidates—and maybe boost Clinton’s self-confidence in the wake of attacks by millennial Berners—we dug up the strangest Hillary tribute videos we could find on YouTube. Many were posted during the 2008 election, when Hillary fandom was at its peak, but some of the strangest video love letters were slapped together as recently as last month. Whether it’s cats, little people, drag queens, or extraterrestrial coverup conspiracies that you seek, these tributes to Hillary Clinton have it all.
1) Hillary as Gundam anime robot warrior in the sky
She shoots lasers at Trump and Rubio! She has big weird eyes! It’s a short video, but definitely one that needed to be made.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VatH3xTjTsc
2) Run, Hillary, Run
A slideshow that starts out pretty normal, with lots of campaign trail pics, but slowly dissolves into weirdness involving football players and stock photos of businesswomen jumping into the air, all set to a super lo-fi song that sounds like it was recorded by ’90s satire-grunge band The Frogs.
3) Hillary, queen of shelter cats
This lovely tribute actually features a cat named after Clinton. According to narrator Larry Van Pelt, there was “not an honor guard there to welcome” Hillary the cat when she arrived at Tabby’s Place, but this ambitious political animal soon let everyone at the animal rescue know that she was to be addressed in a manner befitting a future president.
4) Overdubbed cowboys smashing the glass ceiling
When this original country number was released in 2015, it was roundly mocked in the press. But with its mixture of American flags, blonde toddlers, motorcycles, and scruffy male models in cowboy hats, it fulfills every necessary component needed to solidify the Southern vote—riiiiiiiiiiiight?
5) The La Pequeña Hillary series
What could be better than a Chilean comedian dwarf dressed in drag as Hillary Clinton rolling around naked in an American flag and saying “Fuck you, America,” before turning into a raging, green, Hulk version of the presidential contender? It all happens in Felipe Avello’s ultra-bizarre collection of tributes to La Hillary.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6L9OcaPFqM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDWDQbdbd5c
6) The lesbian vote
We’ll never forget when out icon Sophie B. Hawkins retooled her 1992 hit “Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover” for Hillary’s 2008 presidential bid. As the queer idol high-kicks through the backstreets of Los Angeles, waving around the tiniest boom box ever seen, footage of Hillary-supporting dachshunds wagging their tails, hairstylists at work, and even surfers holding Hillary lawn signs are spliced into the video. It’s weird and beautiful and shot by Hawkins’s longtime partner, Gigi Gaston, who split from Hawkins in 2014.
7) Bisexual orgy for Hillary
In 2008, a super hot girl and a dorky-yet-dreamy punk boy both wrote tribute songs about how much they wanted to boink the First Lady-turned-senator-turned-Secretary of State. Each was its own rebuke to Obama Girl, the hottie who defined the female voter’s lust for democracy’s most bang-able male candidate in decades. Obama Girl was OK, but when Taryn Southern pranced around in that teeny American flag bikini and serenaded Hillary with “I know you’re not gay, but I’m hoping for bi,” we were like, “back at you, Taryn.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Sudw4ghVe8
8) Hillary rave
This lovely slideshow, set to hyperspeed EDM rave jams, is perfect for those late nights when all you want to do is swallow a mixture of Adderall and MDMA (don’t) and go ballistic over your love for Ms. Clinton.
9) Hillary space pixels
For all things Weird Hillary, a visit to the TEAM HILLARY CLINTON Facebook page is a must. There, you’ll find heavily pixelated, low-quality remixes of Clinton speeches and events, overlays of space footage that make it look as if Clinton is floating among asteroids, and ominous sci-fi sound effects. It’s conceptual art, probably.
Photo via ????????? ?????????? / Flickr (CC BY 2.0) | Remix by Max Fleishman
