Christian Science Church, Dixon IL

Photo via Google Earth

No, a d**k-shaped church did not have a water main break at the tip

You can be forgiven for hoping.


David Covucci

Internet Culture

Posted on Aug 2, 2017   Updated on May 22, 2021, 9:53 pm CDT

It’s a story that’s too good to be true. Almost: A church, built to look like a dick, had a leak. And not from the part of the church that looks like the balls. Or the shaft. But the part that looks like the tip. You know, where the leak is supposed to come from.

You may have come across a tweet proclaiming just that.

Only parts of this story are true. There is a church in Dixon, Illinois, that is shaped like a penis. It’s called the Christian Science Society of Dixon. Like we said, it’s shaped like a penis.

penis shaped church water main break
Image via New York Daily News/GOogle Earth

Even Google‘s non-Earth view clearly shows a penis.

penis shaped church water main leak
Image via New York Daily News/GOogle Earth

You can be forgiven for thinking that in a twist of beautiful coincidence, a water main broke at exactly the tip of the church’s dick hole, causing it look like the church dick was spewing… something.

After all, how could you not believe it after seeing that tweet?

Yes, clearly… except, why would Fox and Friends be covering a water main break at a church in Illinois? And would they really say tip? And also, haven’t we seen this before?

We have.

It’s from 2013.

Unfortunately, it was fake then as it is now. Not only did the New York Daily News call it a Photoshop job, a dick-shaped-church-water-main-break-truther went straight-up Zapruder film on it, proving that unless every single car happened to be in the same location during the water main break as they were when Google’s satellites passed by, this was a straight up forgery.


So, there you have it. Dick-shaped church is real. Dick-shaped church water main break? A 4-year-old fake.

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*First Published: Aug 2, 2017, 1:18 pm CDT