When Ron Burgundy needs his news team assembled, he picks up a conch shell and blows, and soon enough, the rest of his posse comes running.
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady reportedly is on vacation, and when he’s not running into people who think he’s a fuckboi, Brady’s apparently thinking about next season. Conch shell, meet Tom Brady’s lips in order to alert New England’s receivers that they should soon assemble.
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Unfortunately, Brady is still alone. But he’s also on a beach, which is probably nice.
To be fair, though, tight end Rob Gronkowski just opened an Instagram account, so it might be hard to convince him to go anywhere for the next few months.
Josh Katzowitz is a staff writer at the Daily Dot specializing in YouTube and boxing. His work has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times. A longtime sports writer, he's covered the NFL for CBSSports.com and boxing for Forbes. His work has been noted twice in the Best American Sports Writing book series.