Photo via Elvert Barnes/Flickr (CC-BY)

Never, ever go here.

Times Square is often referred to as the “Crossroad of the World,” which is correct in that if we live a hellish, brutalist existence and humanity is the scourge of the planet, and nowhere else best exemplifies that. It is the single most awful place on the planet, the nexus of everything that needs to be expunged from Earth. It is also packed to the brim with chain restaurants, each one seething with a critical mass of uncouth tourists.

So when writer Joe Wadlington went on a date with someone who said they were a former manager at the Olive Garden in Times Square, naturally, he had a few questions. Then he went home and tweeted it all.

It is a tale that is utterly American and yet, at the same time, wholly foreign. Honestly, it’s fascinating.

 

https://twitter.com/JoeWadlington/status/854747467593560064

I would suggest if you really want to soak it in, you visit the Times Square Olive Garden. But please, for the sake of your own mental health, do not go alone, and at least try to prepare for the possibility of there being no breadsticks.

IRL
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