We turned all the Super Bowl commercial hashtags into one beautiful poem

Only half of this year’s Super Bowl commercials included hashtags, a surprise decrease from 57 percent in 2014. Don’t fret, though: Advertisers in search of social media buzz still dropped 25 forgettable catchphrases in a vain attempt to start a conversation about their brands.

As with those profound Tumblr email subject lines, there was only one suitable course of action here: assemble the lot into a poem.

Allow us to proudly present “Left Shark.”

One bold choice: eat a Snickers
Hello future it’s that easy
make safe happen with dad, go daddy
make it happy, sorta

Empowering uncarrier, up for anything
Wi-Fi calling first draft ever
The big race: Lexus RC,
Lexus NX, 500X

Real strength—Kim’s data stash
Best buds win at glue like a girl
Stay powerful, Doritos

Memo to the NFL: Engrave this on the Vince Lombardi Trophy whenever you get the chance.

Photo by Joe Parks/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Miles Klee

Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions,  and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'