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If Siri were your mom

She's just not that helpful.


Matt Silverman


chris boylan

Internet Culture

Posted on May 7, 2015   Updated on May 28, 2021, 9:41 pm CDT

Let’s face it: Siri isn’t the USS Enterprise computer Apple promised us in 2011. The digital personal assistant can barely comprehend simple English phrases (“When should I cash in my Beanie Baby collection and retire?”), let alone wash your Humvee or walk your ferret. (Come on, future!)

And if you need emotional support, forget it. There’s no app that can replace good, old-fashioned mother’s love. Unless, of course, your mom is Siri.

The wonderful Susan Bennett is the real voice of Siri, but you’re not exactly hearing her words when you ask your iPhone for help. Bennett, a professional voiceover artist, recorded many phrases and sentences into a data bank, which was then acquired by Apple. Technicians extracted tiny sounds and syllables from her voice and Siri’s software arranges these fragments back into natural language. It’s an astounding marvel of innovation that is completely and utterly useless. Great job, technology.

A huge thanks to Susan for having fun with us in this video. Check out her website to find out where else you’ve heard her (Hint: If you’ve ever watched television or flown on a plane, she’s graced your ears!), and follow her on Twitter to keep up with her adventures.

Photo via the Daily Dot

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*First Published: May 7, 2015, 10:50 am CDT