Photo via Ingo Di Bella/Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Would-be hero—and his dog—interrupt couple having sex in the trunk of their car

Call it 'caninus coutus inturuptus.'

Feb 29, 2020, 12:27 pm*

Internet Culture

 

David Britton

We’re living in the age of the epic Twitter story. It began with Zola, but many others have followed suit.  

Writing what amounts to a short story delivered 140 characters at a time produces a kind of automatic poetry and sense of suspense.  It’s a unique method of storytelling, one that we might lose if Twitter increases its character limit to a whopping 10,000. So, despite some—or perhaps all—of these stories being fake, it’s best to savor the good ones while we can.

Joe Craig, of London, England, recently offered us one of the best such stories—a tale of sex, dogs, and heroism gone wrong.

Or the trunk, for those of us in the States.

Oh, thanks Joe.  

Anyway, that’s when most people would call the police, but Joe, knowing the would-be-kidnapper could return at any time, went the extra mile and rushed into action.

He never mentioned how he pulled this off. Was the trunk unlocked? Did he get superhuman strength from a sudden burst of adrenaline? I guess we’ll never know. Besides, what happened next will wipe the question from your mind, because—

Do what now?

So they’d both been kidnapped?

Wait, so…Oh! Oh. Oh no.

How about nothing? Go with nothing, Joe.  Walk away, Joe. Walk away.

“Do carry on”?

Well, that’s nice, I guess.  Anyway, funny story, Joe. Guess it could have been worse, right? 

But wait. There’s more:

What the fuck does that mean, Joe??

Oh, um, yeah, that’s what we thought you meant.

No.

NO!

Please tell us that’s when you walked away, Joe.

Ya think?

Oh, Joe, at least your heart was in the right place, if not your dog.

H/T Distractify | Photo via Ingo Di Bella/Flickr (CC BY SA 2.0)

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*First Published: Jan 29, 2016, 8:41 am