In a case that is part mystery, mostly bizarre, and completely hilarious, one town is being torn apart by teens stealing plastic flamingos placed on lawns by moms to protest a local ordinance on keeping chickens. To get back at the mischievous youth, it seems, these same matriarchs are booby-trapping the fake birds with things like poison ivy and exploding dye packets.
theres some weird shit going on in my town involving plastic flamingos thats way weirder than anything i could invent pic.twitter.com/mVW7K4FDSt— the artist (1987–2020) (@vrunt) May 3, 2015
but now things have escalated and they're using trail cameras and exploding dye packets??? pic.twitter.com/Z30VKCUrw9— the artist (1987–2020) (@vrunt) May 3, 2015
“Cellfies” needs to be a thing ASAP. But that’s only possible if and when the delinquents figure out how to sneak smartphones into jail with them—a mugshot doesn’t count, seeing as it’s taken by some police officer.
Also, whoever deployed the dye packets is a genius; that they dropped “eggspecting” in relation to the chicken ordinance just confirms it.
And wait, there’s more! The plot thickens like cooled-down oatmeal:
someone posted a picture of the perpetrators last night and one lady recognized them pic.twitter.com/BnKv3pd6EN— the artist (1987–2020) (@vrunt) May 3, 2015
the picture thing opened a whole new can of worms pic.twitter.com/qGOf7IdEuu— the artist (1987–2020) (@vrunt) May 3, 2015
We haven’t learned the name of the suburb where all this is unfolding, but it’s got to be one without a mall, because shenanigans this absurd would most definitely not occur in a place that had an arcade and movie theaters to host the youth during evenings.
Then it turned out that the adults were in fact using psychological methods to get to the perpetrators:
meanwhile in a parallel thread, the adults reveal more of their brilliant scheme pic.twitter.com/u3b3b44QCR— the artist (1987–2020) (@vrunt) May 3, 2015
And the youngsters are now getting backed up. How dare these women screw up the most important day of anybody’s life, aka high school graduation:
the tide has definitely turned against the machiavellian moms pic.twitter.com/nTfSxgUINa— the artist (1987–2020) (@vrunt) May 3, 2015
Shoutout to Colleen for being super concerned about the animals’ well-being. But just as the shitshow really got going, the Facebook thread’s administrators pulled the plug and deleted everything.
admins have deleted the topic!!! this was one of the final moments before it was all erased pic.twitter.com/V9AIHTLAO0— the artist (1987–2020) (@vrunt) May 3, 2015
But hey, it was fun while it lasted.
Photo via Flickr/breatheindigital (CC BY SA 2.0)