stupidiotic.com

Pizza pouch necklace might be the most important invention of the digital age

What a time to be alive.

Feb 29, 2020, 6:37 pm*

Internet Culture

 

Josh Katzowitz

For the woman who finds herself in the wilderness without any nearby Italian-inspired nourishment or for the man who doesn’t care about his appearance as long as there’s pepperoni within tongue’s reach comes one of the most important inventions of this or any time.

It’s a portable pizza necklace, and it sounds like the answer to all of life’s problems.

But don’t take our word for it. Listen to how stupidiotic.com describes this masterpiece of technology (which the website sells for $8 a pop): 

No one should ever be without pizza. Sadly, (often tragically) pizza is not always available for immediate hand-to-mouth consumption. Prepare yourself. Keep and carry a backup slice with this specially designed Pizza Pouch. A durable zip-lock sealing neck-strap pie slice device. Always fresh and ready. BONUS: Just wearing this Pizza Pouch will instantly make you more popular and attractive. It’s a bold (and delicious) fashion statement. Portable pizza. The best invention since delivery.

That’s incorrect. Not only is the Pizza Pouch the best invention since delivery and not only is it the best invention since pizza itself, it’s pretty much the best idea ever to be concocted. Well, sliced bread is still No. 1. But the Pizza Pouch is a strong No. 2, narrowly beating out electricity and tater tots.

Need more convincing? Check out these photos.

stupidiotic.com

stupidiotic.com

As comes with every mind-blowing innovation, though, there’s always at least one naysayer who wants to halt progress and keep the world the same as it was before we could wear pizza around our neck.

H/T Huffington Post | Photo via stupidiotic.com

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*First Published: Oct 1, 2015, 3:49 pm