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Doctors are getting sexts from patients in search of a diagnosis

Here's a dick pic. For your health.


April Siese

Internet Culture

Posted on Apr 9, 2016   Updated on May 26, 2021, 11:22 pm CDT

Well, there ya have it. Everyone is getting sexted nowadays, from horrified HR directors to soulless robots. You, dear reader, are probably sexting right now as you read this because there’s nothing finer than a multitasker. Get you a man who can do both, right?

The latest demographic fearing for their smartphone’s decency is doctors. Patients worried about their family jewels like every suspect blemish is a fatal threat to their livelihood are texting their medical providers inappropriate photos. When the threat level’s at “Oh god, my junk,” there really isn’t a more immediate course of action.

Like every other human on the planet, doctors find this hilarious. The Guardian interviewed an anonymous physician who seriously couldn’t stop laughing about the dick pics popping up on his phone. Dude finds young folks’ trust in sending out salacious photos blind to their consequences beyond amusing.

The American Medical Association doesn’t know what to do with this bit of information, mostly because they have no idea what cellphones are. “You mean those talky pictures?” I’d imagine an AMA rep pondering as they polish their monocle and listen to their wax cylinders. But for real, an AMA representative was in absolute shock that doctors and patients communicate in this manner. They probably thought it was all carrier pigeons and bricks with notes tied around them after hours.

Not anymore. The medical world moves at a glacial pace when it comes to adapting technology. They’re still on the fence about turning case files and nursing charts digital. What that means is this is the Wild West of patient-doctor sexting. Hackers can nab that shit in an instant. Even worse, there are no HIPAA regulations on the books keeping either party safe from prying eyes.

So, um, pro-tip: Stop sexting your doctor. Why not do things the old-fashioned way and plug your symptoms into WebMD, then freak out for a few hours because you’re a billion percent positive you caught the plague?

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*First Published: Apr 9, 2016, 11:23 am CDT