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To be a good cook takes skill and plenty of practice, as most of us weren’t born with a natural prowess in the kitchen. But even the most unskilled amateur chefs can usually wing it with jarred sauces, marinades, or seasoning packets. In other words, there are resources out there to save you from bland food!
Which is why there is absolutely no excuse, whatsoever, for the following nightmare fuel.
“Y’all wanna get upset by the lack of seasoning on my boyfriends roommates chicken with me,” wrote Twitter user Cori Healey on Monday evening—whose handle “anustart” is a playful nod to the Netflix series Arrested Development.
Y’all wanna get upset by the lack of seasoning on my boyfriends roommates chicken with me pic.twitter.com/R72oHmAf3G— Anustart (@corihealey) January 8, 2019
Indeed, those are some horrifying-looking chicken breasts. I mean, it’s possible there’s some salt sprinkled on there, but it doesn’t seem likely. How would a person even be able to choke that down? Has anyone in her boyfriend’s apartment ever even seen a chicken before? (See what I did there?)
“I am DISTRAUGHT,” Healey accurately continued, summing up how we all feel looking at this abomination.
I am DISTRAUGHT pic.twitter.com/NHh7DI7A3S— Anustart (@corihealey) January 8, 2019
Not surprisingly, the tweet quickly went viral as people began sharing and commenting on it in incredulous disgust. For some reason, everyone seems to have a fascination with unseasoned chicken—or more specifically, white people cooking unseasoned chicken—as a recently resurfaced Oprah segment has taught us.
“Sis, if you just you know put some seasoning on this, it could be amazing,” Oprah commented after the old clip went viral.
To that effect, there were plenty of jokes and memes:
this chicken wants you to know it has a black friend and it voted for obama https://t.co/udb3B6fpXy— Talia Lavin (@chick_in_kiev) January 8, 2019
Vegans Meat eaters— kuribotany (@Shower_Capy) January 8, 2019
This bird died in vain https://t.co/86r0D8UNxs
I thought these were sea conches. https://t.co/osr4ZfNowL— Sad Hunny (@TheAquariusBIG) January 8, 2019
girl. get outta the house. now.— donovan copeland (@cxcope) January 8, 2019
i showed it to my family 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/6CemySVqY7— vanessa♡ (@vanessasvoicee) January 8, 2019
No foil to preserve the pan, no garlic powder, no season all, no lemon pepper, no salt & pepper and most importantly no love = flavor pic.twitter.com/ZBzQokJslA— ﷼ (@bernieoftexas) January 8, 2019
It’s horrifying it’s like watching Sponges bake— FattyAtomicMutant (@SpoilersSpoils) January 8, 2019
Even Dictionary.com got in on the joke:
After realizing she had gone viral, Healey posted an update, as thirsty dudes apparently came out of the woodwork to slide into her DMs to inform her that they can, in fact, season their food. Cool?
Also thank you men of twitter for DMing me and letting me know you season your food, good for you— Anustart (@corihealey) January 8, 2019
It’s unclear whether or not the chicken was eventually consumed, but either way, you can probably take a moment to pray for the boyfriend’s roommate’s soul. May God have mercy.
Stacey Ritzen is a reporter and editor based in West Philadelphia with over 10 years' experience covering pop culture, web culture, entertainment, and news. You can follow her on Twitter @staceyritzen.