Patton Oswalt spent the weekend trolling fans with 2-part tweets

Well done, Oswalt, but now we're gonna see these two-parters everywhere. 

 

Cooper Fleishman

Internet Culture

Published Aug 17, 2013   Updated Jun 1, 2021, 8:53 am CDT

Twitter humor is predictable. Even the weirdest crap can get formulaic—glitchy text nonsense, sexts, variations on “me irl” that link to shiba inu pictures (sorry)—so you gotta love it when someone steps in and reinvents the wheel. 

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Patton Oswalt, what are you doing?

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whites and “darks” should be kept separate. Sorry if that sounds too “tree-huggy” to my conservative followers.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

No, really. 

all abortion should be illegal, no exceptions. Just go ahead and UNFOLLOW me, you right wing hate-mongers.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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This is some kind of joke, right?

Let NAMBLA members fuck anyone they want. Am I so crazy for wanting my kid to grow up in a safer world?

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

Neggers out of government? Yes, please! (Sorry for any misspelling)

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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Oh, good. It is! Here’s what the tweets look like in context:

Why do right wing asshats want “Hollywood out of government”, but don’t want the Fred Thompsons or Arnold Schwarze

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

Neggers out of government? Yes, please! (Sorry for any misspelling)

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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These idiots who deny that clumsy change is real, and a pressing threat are no different from misogynists who claim that

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

Women enjoy rape. Grow the fuck up, all of you.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

You think ANYONE should be able to buy a gun for ANY reason, you idiot? Well, why don’t we just

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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Let NAMBLA members fuck anyone they want. Am I so crazy for wanting my kid to grow up in a safer world?

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

Oh, you think repealing voting laws in the south is justified, you racist asshole? I suppose you ALSO believe that

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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Hitler was absolutely right about the Jews. And I don’t care how many “white power” redneck followers I lose by Tweeting that.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

When it comes to doing laundry, I firmly believe in using environment-friendly detergent and I ALSO believe

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

whites and “darks” should be kept separate. Sorry if that sounds too “tree-huggy” to my conservative followers.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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Looks like a it worked on a few people:

I wish politics would stay out of twitter just for a bit. Unfollowing @pattonoswalt … Now

— Tanner Hodges (@TCHodges73) August 17, 2013

@pattonoswalt How is it racist to only want U.S. citizens to be able to vote for people who will represent U.S. citizens?

— Adam MacFeat (@AdamMacFeat) August 17, 2013

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@pattonoswalt you’re a fucking dick

— Kyra McNiff (@hiimkyra) August 17, 2013

And it’s still going! 

For you simpletons who see everything in “black” and “white”: if racism, misogyny, hatred and fear are BLACK, then

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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My grandchildren had better be WHITE. And I mean PURE WHITE, or we’re not going to have a country anymore. #tolerance

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

God’s greatest miracle? How about science? Penicillin? Gift from God. Polio vaccine? Gift from God. Even aspirin, Pepto-Bismol and ROL

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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AIDS is a gift from God. I don’t know why people are still so backward in their thinking about this.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

Our country’s worth isn’t in how many billionaires we produce or countries we conquer. History will judge use solely on how we tr

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

Eat the poor, disabled and hopeless. It’s the only way we can insure our future.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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And I’m sorry, but I fucking HATE FOX NEWS. Bunch of race-baiting corporate shills. All of their medieval, fact-free clapt

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

Rap is performed by monkeys in expensive clothes. Sorry if I offended you, white conservatives, but it’s the truth.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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And then, without missing a step, he quit:

Gonna hop off Twitter for awhile. Enjoy the sunshine, breathe the air. Hope no one was offended. Cross my heart and hope to

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

Die, all of you. Seriously. #peace

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 17, 2013

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Gotta exalt the trailblazers of what I did yesterday on Twitter: @NeilHamburger, @JimNorton & @iamcolinquinn. Follow ’em and learn.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 18, 2013

Well done, Oswalt, but now we’re gonna see these two-parters everywhere. 

Photo via gageskidmore/Flickr

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*First Published: Aug 17, 2013, 4:34 pm CDT