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I can’t believe this went horribly wrong.
Remember that party where that drunk dude tried to chop a sausage in half with a sword while it was sticking out of his bro’s mouth? Of course not—you stopped hanging out with people that stupid in high school. Good job.
Alas, a fateful game of Medieval William Tell did unfold the other night, with one man’s nose effectively hacked off as a result. This is going to be a fun bunch of reconstructive surgeries (and a lifetime of sad explanations).
Want to barf all day? You’ve been warned: Here’s this guy’s new face.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'