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An updated Internet slang guide for the FBI
Wait till they get their hands on the first dude to tweet “IADMACTAAGI.”
The FBI has published a list of Twitter shorthand that includes BTDTGTTSAWIO (“been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out”), IITYWTMWYBMAD (“if I tell you what this means will you buy me a drink?”), and PMYHMFSWGAD (“pardon me, you have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn”).
TL;DR: Someone’s been seriously messing with the FBI.
In that spirit, we note that they missed these important, commonly used, definitely real Twitter expressions.
ROFLMAOADAIED: Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off and detonating an improvised explosive device
BITEG: Boy, isn’t tax evasion great?
IADMACTAAGI: I am definitely making a credible threat against a government institution
B|>: I am the Unabomber
0B)>: Despite looking like the Unabomber, I am a well-intentioned and law-abiding person
BRBGHMBSAW: Be right back, gotta help my buddies stockpile automatic weapons
WCCITBCC: White-collar crime is the best collar crime
IANALBIAANAPOIFFI: I am not a lawyer, but I am also not a person of interest for federal investigations
IITYWTMWYBMAHPOF: If I tell you what this means will you buy me a hundred pounds of fertilizer?
NOTALLMEN: I have unexamined violent tendencies
UASTCTCTBUBTFBIHHS: Using a secret Twitter code too clever to be understood by the Federal Bureau of Investigations, ha ha, suckers
NSFWUYLMAITM: Not safe for work unless you, like me, are in the Mafia
IKLP: I killed Laura Palmer
TBDCTTATEL: Too busy doing crimes to type all these extra letters
Photo via SeemingLee/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Jess Zimmerman is the editor-in-chief of Electric Lit, and her byline has previously appeared in the Guardian, the Washington Post, New York Magazine, Vice, Slate, Refinery29, and many other outlets. She's the co-author of Basic Witches: How To Summon Success, Banish Drama, And Raise Hell With Your Coven.