- Majority of threats made since El Paso and Dayton shootings have been made online Thursday 8:00 PM
- Miley Cyrus tweets about cheating allegations and penis cake drama Thursday 6:32 PM
- ‘The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance’ dazzles with a timely tale Thursday 6:00 PM
- The DOJ emailed a white nationalist blog post to immigration judges Thursday 5:31 PM
- The Amazon rainforest is on fire–and people are using memes to cope Thursday 4:11 PM
- Microsoft contractors listened in on Xbox users Thursday 2:15 PM
- Anti-vaxxer assaults pro-vaccine lawmaker on Facebook Live (updated) Thursday 2:15 PM
- Oreos licked by singer Lewis Capaldi are being auctioned off on eBay Thursday 1:54 PM
- Zach Braff predicted Sean Spicer would be on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ 2 years ago Thursday 1:38 PM
- NYPD sergeant who watched Eric Garner die punished with lost vacation days Thursday 1:27 PM
- Brie Larson haters have a meltdown over a joke about Thor’s hammer Thursday 1:26 PM
- This comedian attempted to make fun of women on Twitter—and it did not go over well Thursday 1:04 PM
- Logan Paul wants to help the Amazon rainforest Thursday 12:36 PM
- Nutaku announces redesign and filters for LGBTQ porn games (updated) Thursday 12:25 PM
- This video of dozens of inflatable mattresses taking off in the wind is perfect Thursday 12:20 PM
An updated Internet slang guide for the FBI
Wait till they get their hands on the first dude to tweet “IADMACTAAGI.”
The FBI has published a list of Twitter shorthand that includes BTDTGTTSAWIO (“been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out”), IITYWTMWYBMAD (“if I tell you what this means will you buy me a drink?”), and PMYHMFSWGAD (“pardon me, you have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn”).
TL;DR: Someone’s been seriously messing with the FBI.
In that spirit, we note that they missed these important, commonly used, definitely real Twitter expressions.
ROFLMAOADAIED: Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off and detonating an improvised explosive device
BITEG: Boy, isn’t tax evasion great?
IADMACTAAGI: I am definitely making a credible threat against a government institution
B|>: I am the Unabomber
0B)>: Despite looking like the Unabomber, I am a well-intentioned and law-abiding person
BRBGHMBSAW: Be right back, gotta help my buddies stockpile automatic weapons
WCCITBCC: White-collar crime is the best collar crime
IANALBIAANAPOIFFI: I am not a lawyer, but I am also not a person of interest for federal investigations
IITYWTMWYBMAHPOF: If I tell you what this means will you buy me a hundred pounds of fertilizer?
NOTALLMEN: I have unexamined violent tendencies
UASTCTCTBUBTFBIHHS: Using a secret Twitter code too clever to be understood by the Federal Bureau of Investigations, ha ha, suckers
NSFWUYLMAITM: Not safe for work unless you, like me, are in the Mafia
IKLP: I killed Laura Palmer
TBDCTTATEL: Too busy doing crimes to type all these extra letters
Photo via SeemingLee/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Jess Zimmerman is the editor-in-chief of Electric Lit, and her byline has previously appeared in the Guardian, the Washington Post, New York Magazine, Vice, Slate, Refinery29, and many other outlets. She's the co-author of Basic Witches: How To Summon Success, Banish Drama, And Raise Hell With Your Coven.