The incredible true romance of a woman who reviewed her dates on Yelp

It started innocently, as most romances do. 

A couple of weeks ago, Natalie Walker, a New York-based actor and writer, decided to review a handful of old dates on Yelp. But she never imagined what would blossom from this simple idea.

“I thought it would be a dumb thing that four of my friends on Twitter would see [and] be like, ‘Hahaha yes, girl!’ or a weird dumb easter egg for people who stumbled on them on Yelp.”

Walker posted a handful of reviews to her Instagram and Twitter accounts.

I am leaving Yelp reviews for every place I have ever gone on a date but just reviewing the date

A photo posted by Natalie Walker (@nwalks) on

Latest Yelp date review

A photo posted by Natalie Walker (@nwalks) on

Final Yelp date review of the day

A photo posted by Natalie Walker (@nwalks) on

Soon media outlets like Refinery29 took notice, and the story became a viral hit. And Yelp itself got wind of the gag. 

When Walker received her first warning from a Yelp employee named Pam, she was distraught, to say the least.

“I know Yelp filters out reviews that they think are unrelated or bad. I always figured that my reviews would get filtered, but I didn’t think they would get deleted,” said Walker. 

My final 2 date reviews because now I have been banished and 🎶I can’t Yelp falling in love with you🎶

A photo posted by Natalie Walker (@nwalks) on

While Walker knew she was posting reviews that didn’t quite conform to Yelp’s guidelines, she did lay some of her own ground rules.

“I didn’t review any small businesses because I wouldn’t review any business that really looks to Yelp to attract customers,” she explained.

Like any hopeless romantic, Walker stuck to her guns and returned to the site—this time armed with a clever disguise.

Back in imperceptible disguise

A photo posted by Natalie Walker (@nwalks) on

But something funny happened this time around. When Walker received yet another slap on the wrist from Pam, she realized there were sparks. 

🎶I have the honor to be your obedient servant Yelp dot Pam Wal dot Ker🎶

A photo posted by Natalie Walker (@nwalks) on

And, while Pam didn’t say yes to her advances, she didn’t exactly say no. 

🎶I know you are a Pam of honor, I’m so sorry to bother you at home🎶

A photo posted by Natalie Walker (@nwalks) on

Emboldened and determined, Walker returned to Yelp for a final batch of reviews. “[I thought], so now I have to complete this trilogy of reviews in this fugitive situation, and then I did my final review and it was a review of Yelp headquarters.”

FINALE: reviews written by guest artist who cannot be me because this woman has an eye patch

A photo posted by Natalie Walker (@nwalks) on

Her wooing was not in vain. Following her return, Walker received one final bittersweet message from her beloved Pam.

While Walker’s tryst with Yelping about past romances was short-lived, she said she has no regrets. She feels good about her conquests and how she featured those she reviewed.

“I wanted to keep it fun and not be mean-spirited, so I [mostly reviewed] older dates from like five years ago. I did one for Hamilton, but that was the most sort of surrealist in tone, because it was about the cult of Hamilton and not my actual relationship.”

As for Walker’s most recent dates, although some speculated that the reviews would have a negative effect on Walker’s love life, she said that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Said Walker, “All the BroBible commenters are like, ‘Who’s gonna wanna go on a date with this ugly cunt?’ but I’m doing fine. Guys that I’ve known for a while are like, ‘Hey, do you want to get coffee sometime?’ And then there are random dudes on Twitter who @ me, [but] I’ve been seeing someone pretty consistently for the last 3 months.”

For many, that would be a happy ending. But, truth be told, Walker said she still finds herself pining for Pam.

“I think Pam might have taken some improv classes, because she really knew how to yes-and,” said Walker.

She added wistfully, “Maybe I’ll get to meet Pam. I pray that I meet Pam and that we get to recreate the final scene of Carol. That’s the next step in this story that I want.”

Our prayers are with this star-crossed couple.

Photo via nwalks/Instagram | Remix by Jason Reed

Nayomi Reghay

Nayomi Reghay

Nayomi Reghay is a frequent contributor to the Daily Dot, covering body positivity, feminism, sex, relationships, and gender. She is also the author of the advice column “Swipe This!” A former New York Teaching Fellow, her writing has been featured in Reductress, Rolling Stone, Mic, Someecards, and more.