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No matter what’s going on in a teen’s emotional life, you can often find them holed up in their bedroom, typically writing some raw poetry or overidentifying with popular music.
This information may have been some use to Australia’s Queensland Police Service, which posted a concerned Facebook status about “missing” 17-year-old Erian Thompson only to have her reply the status, saying, “I’m legit just sitting in my bedroom.”
Queensland Police Service/Facebook
The whole thing is hilariously reminiscent of the meme about a panicked helicopter mom not realizing her kid is safe at home.
It’s unclear if Thompson’s sister had reported her missing after their little tiff, but either way, the cops couldn’t take down the picture until they’d confirmed the teen was safe. Which, happily, they did.
“A 17-year-old girl missing from Carindale has been located safe and well,” they noted, dryly adding that they “would like to thank the media and public for their assistance.”
Pretty easy case to close, but hey, a win is a win, right? Gotta juke those department statistics however you can.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'