Meat the Canadian company with the quirkiest product descriptions on Earth

Maple Leaf, Canada’s leading consumer packaged meats company, is pretty loquacious when it comes to describing themselves.

But that enthusiasm seems to drop off pretty rapidly when it comes to describing their products, as pointed by Cabel Sasser on Twitter. 

“Classic Pepperoni Sticks are Great” is  complementary, if a bit short, and “Ready Crispy is 100% real” is at least… reassuring? But “We’ve taken the breakfast sausage” sounds like the beginning of a ransom note, while “It’s easy to top your family” is either a very weird sexual statement, or just plain mean. 

Also Sasser seems to have left out one of the most egregious examples. 

Screengrab via Mapleleaf.com

We get it, Maple Leaf. You are not to be trifled with. Sorry we said anything, sheesh.

David Britton

David Britton

David Britton is a writer and comedian based in Rhinebeck, New York who focuses on internet culture, memes, and viral news stories. He also writes for the Hard Times and is the creator of StoriesAboutWizards.com.