One arboreal enthusiast celebrated Halloween just a bit too early—and ended up putting his roots down in jail.
Up in Portland (the Maine one, not the TV show one), a 30-year-old artist punningly named Asher A. Woodworth was approached by police as he blocked downtown traffic while dressed as a mutant pine tree. They tore off his foliage and told him to stick to the sidewalk, but he again walked into the road, at which point he was arrested.
— Tom Johnston (@tjthunder) October 25, 2016
Woodworth eventually revealed that the tree bit was a “performance” exploring how he could affect “people’s natural choreography.” Too bad, because “I want to be a tree” would have been an infinitely more relatable answer. Who among us wouldn’t give up our body, mobility, and conscious mind to be a good tall plant? Anyway, vote Tree Guy 2016.