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- Amanda Holden’s bad coronavirus advice sheds light on the struggle of being immunocompromised Friday 9:03 PM
- The World Health Organization is now fighting coronavirus misinformation on TikTok Friday 8:43 PM
- Police are using coronavirus misinformation to trick people into turning in drugs Friday 8:11 PM
- People can’t stop touching their faces–and the CDC really wants them to Friday 7:31 PM
- A TikTok of a girl getting an abortion is going viral—and the internet is divided Friday 3:06 PM
- FCC proposes $200 million fine for T-Mobile, others over data sharing Friday 3:03 PM
- Which ‘Love is Blind’ couples are still together? Friday 2:01 PM
- Review: ‘The Invisible Man’ reboot is thrilling but basic Friday 1:25 PM
- Sex workers speak out after OnlyFans leak Friday 1:21 PM
- Normani addresses Camila Cabello’s racist social media posts Friday 1:07 PM
- Mike Huckabee’s defense of Trump’s coronavirus response will make you nauseous Friday 12:06 PM
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- Woman shares aftermath of domestic abuse: ‘This is only to raise awareness’ Friday 10:40 AM
- Skai Jackson gets restraining order against Bhad Bhabie after death threat Friday 10:19 AM
Let’s get real for a second: You may not talk openly about it, but in the back of your mind, for quite a while, you’ve been planning an intricate heist. You’ve worked out every angle, every contingency, every infinitesimal detail. Simply put, it cannot fail.
Except somebody already beat you to it. All you can do is watch your perfect plan put into action by a master thief, marvel at the subtle genius of it, and wish that you had gotten there first. What can you say? High-end burglary is a competitive business.
If you still plan on attempting this sort of thing, do be careful not to knock the portable toilet over when making your getaway. I mean, there may be someone in there.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'