Tips from a pro.
It’s finally, officially summer—the perfect season for fuckboys to thrive and shine. But not every bro out there is cut out for this type of life or knows how to get their foot in the door, so here is a guide from a former fuckboy who knows the tricks of the trade.
1) Wear a shirt like this
Wearing this shirt will inform people not just that you are attempting to be fashion-forward, but that you also really love your chest hair.
2) Skateboard everywhere
This just seems fuckboy-esque for some reason.
3) Have someone take photos of you everytime you work out
If no one on social media saw you lift, did it even happen?
4) Call women “females”
This is currently the easiest way to identify as a fuckboy and indicate that you are truly about that fuckboy life
5) Take a black-and-white selfie that showcases your profile
The best kind of fuckboys know their angles and are well-aware that non-color photos make them seem “deep”
6) Assemble a fuckboy crew
What would summer be without a crew of other fuckboys to spend time with? A good fuckboy crew will keep your fuckboyness at a high level, which is super-important when you’re at the beach, a bar, or any other place that fuckboys frequent.
7) Get a tribal tattoo
Getting one of these will cement your status as a serious fuckboy. Do it.
8) Vote for Trump
Studies have shown that 69 percent percent of male Donald Trump supporters exhibit high levels of fuckboy.
9) Look up to Scott Disick
Even more than voting for Trump, any dude that looks to Scott Disick for inspiration is definitely a liar, cheater, and a scammer.
10) Do this to your hair
OK, so you have your tribal tat, you look up to Scott Disick, you refer to women as “females,” and one of the members of your crew took a black-and-white profile photo of you skateboarding while wearing a Trump muscle T that shows off your chest hair. Now it’s time for the final touch to your aesthetic, which is the fuckboy haircut.
Congratulations on now being the perfect fuckboy. No go and spread your fuckboy ways around the world this summer. You’re going to make the cast of Jersey Shore very proud.
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