There are some things you can never put a price on. Like seeing your child grow from infant to adult, developing friends that will last you through life, or becoming at peace with the world.
Other things, however, you can put a price on. Like a Hot Cheeto that looks vaguely similar to Harambe.
I’d probably pay five dollars for it. Tops. Maybe, maybe, if I was being accosted by a particularly aggressive Harambe Hot Cheeto dealer, I would go up to $7.50, just to get the guy off my back. Not because it was worth an extra $2.50.
Now guess what the current top bid on eBay is for a Hot Cheeto that looks like Harambe.
It is currently $99,999, which has most certainly been thanks to a real desire for the Harambe Hot Cheeto and not the result of immature internet pranksters incapable of understanding the ironic-non-ironic obsession with Harambe with the height of our online insipidity.
The Hot Cheeto, which is reminiscent of the gummy Venus de Milo, was listed a week-and-a-half ago at a reasonable starting price of $11.99 (a little outside my comfort zone but certainly something a “baller” might be willing to pay), but it shot up as it garnered online attention today.
Here, I graphed its 10-hour rise for you. If you look closely, you can see the internet collapse under the weight of its own collective stupidity.
Kidding. You don’t have to look all that closely.
People who bid on this item also bid on 10 bags of XXTRA Flamin’ Hot Cheetos for $4.98, which is a much more sensible thing do to.
Update 11:19 CT Feb 7: There is some speculation that the gorilla in the stock photo may not be Harambe. We will let you decide whether that Cheeto still reminds you of Harambe. There is no wrong answer.