- QAnon-touting congressman sneaks ‘Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself’ into tweets Wednesday 7:12 PM
- Ocasio-Cortez met a famous drag queen–and the right melted down Wednesday 6:09 PM
- Woman says Lyft driver tried to kidnap her Wednesday 5:18 PM
- Debunking the right-wing conspiracy theories from today’s impeachment hearing Wednesday 4:29 PM
- Maroon 5 approves of the latest TikTok trend Wednesday 3:54 PM
- ‘One month left in the decade’ meme wants to know what you’ve accomplished Wednesday 3:53 PM
- Facebook Pay is the latest way to send your friends money Wednesday 3:31 PM
- Diving into ‘The Mandalorian’s first big shocker Wednesday 3:17 PM
- Disney+ will allow password sharing—to an extent Wednesday 1:12 PM
- Black server says manager refused to discipline coworkers who sent racist receipt Wednesday 12:47 PM
- Who is Jonah Hauer-King, Disney’s new Prince Eric? Wednesday 12:47 PM
- Cut Katherine Langford ‘Avengers: Endgame’ scene lands on Disney+ Wednesday 12:22 PM
- Planned Parenthood app to show abortion-seeking users their nearest options Wednesday 12:21 PM
- ‘The Imagineering Story’ offers touching insight into Walt Disney’s vision Wednesday 11:57 AM
- YouTube mom who was charged with child abuse dead at 48 Wednesday 11:39 AM
These politically correct holiday cards ought to save you some grief
We desperately wish these actually existed.
As we roll into Christmas, a lot of us will be gathering with relatives and settling down for a lengthy political argument we’d really rather not have. Something about the occasion gets people touchy about their beliefs—or annoyed that other people are so touchy. Perhaps you even know a uncle who reads the Drudge Report and therefore thinks that saying “happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” is “political correctness gone mad.”
If you’d like to show him how much worse things could be, look no further than this marvelously deadpan sketch from the good folks at PITtv, the video arm of the People’s Improv Theater in New York. “Politically Correct Hallmark Cards” has exactly the soft glow and Christmas trimmings of a late December night on the home shopping network, but the products themselves are resolutely irreligious, lest anyone be offended.
The first cards bear your standard generic salutations, “Season’s Greetings” and the like, but as soon as we get to “Enjoy Your Non-Denominational Vacation Day or Days!” it’s clear we’re in the hands of masterfully evasive copywriters. I won’t spoil how they’ve edited the phrase “don we now our gay apparel,” but rest assured I would purchase the result were it real. There’s even a card, at long last, for bitter atheists! This must be what secular humanist paradise is like.
Photo via PITtv/YouTube
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'