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Why have a personality when you’ve got an algorithm?
Filling out your OkCupid details or Tinder bio can be majorly difficult. There’s the age-old “how do I come off as available but not desperate?” problem—not to mention the whole debate as to whether or not using a pun is a little too much. But if you’re facing some trouble, just turn to Google Autocorrect for answers, and you’ll soon have the perfect profile.
Comedy writer Aaron Gillies used the search engine to help craft his online dating persona. And the hilarious results make him either look like the most dateable guy around or someone you pray doesn’t message you looking to “grab a coffee sometime.”
Seriously, you just couldn’t make this up on your own. Body type? The ready kind. And all you’d ever want in a lover is two thumbs, right? As for hugging and depression in the “turn-ons” column, we can let you decide for yourself if that’s good for a relationship.
And hitting upon this genius idea has given Gillies another: charging people to let him fill their profile out for them. But it’s going to cost you a pretty penny.
I am available to write your dating profile for you if you require it. I charge £5000 an hour.
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) January 21, 2016
We’re waiting to hear if his Google matchmaking lights any fires.
Photo via Rasmus Zwickson/Flickr (CC by 2.0) | Remix by Max Fleishman
Gabe Bergado is a Daily Dot alumnus who covered dank memes, teens, and the weirdest corners of the Internet. One time, Ted Cruz supporters turned him into a meme—or at least tried to. In 2017, he started reporting for Teen Vogue's entertainment section.