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Seems not great!
These are scary times we’re living in now. Between climate change, literal Nazis running amok, the fate of Roe v. Wade hanging in the balance, conspiracy theorists, the fear of getting gunned down every time you leave your house, and a reckless president who seems to be attempting to incite civil war if upcoming elections don’t shake out the way he wants—not to mention the ongoing conflict in Syria and other parts of the world—things are looking pretty grim!
But what if I told you that there’s a possibility that, someday, maybe none of that will matter?
It’s true! According to scientists, the end of the world may come sooner than we thought due to colliding gravitational waves that would cause the Earth to be sucked into a black hole! (As opposed to being swallowed up and incinerated when the sun inevitably becomes a giant red star in five billion years from now.)
Should this fate await our planet we’ll have less Russian election meddling to deal with and more, well, whatever happens when you enter a black hole. (Nobody knows exactly what, but it’s probably bad!)
Newsweek delivered the bad news about the possible impending fate of Earth in a cheery tweet on Thursday:
According to Newsweek:
Gravitational waves are invisible ripples in space which travel at the speed of light. The most powerful of these waves occur when objects move very quickly, for instance when two big stars orbit each other or two black holes orbit one another and merge. Such waves are often compared to the circular ripples which emerge when a stone is dropped in water.
However, if a particle or object travels at the speed of light, flat gravitational waves can result.
If such an event were to occur, if the waves were big enough, the subsequent collision would create a black hole with a gravitational field that not even light would be able to escape from it. That’s the long answer. The short answer is: we’re screwed.
Still, that didn’t stop Twitter from making light of the subject with morbid jokes. If we’ve all got to die, we might as well go laughing?
10 dollars says it spits us back out. https://t.co/oQYjLAkfP7— Caleb Howe (@CalebHowe) August 30, 2018
Finally, some good news. https://t.co/4U9uaBNntM— Scott Wampler™ (@ScottWamplerBMD) August 30, 2018
About fucking time. https://t.co/Z15qomysj8— Josh Sternberg (@joshsternberg) August 30, 2018
My body is ready https://t.co/qsXp1cgdmj— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) August 30, 2018
hell yeah https://t.co/uRZ3C4O2Q7— David Mack (@davidmackau) August 30, 2018
Wishes do come true! https://t.co/DOqv2kWsP4— Donna Dickens (@MildlyAmused) August 30, 2018
Best possible scenario https://t.co/jeGftQUEYS— Hurricane Helms (@ShaneHelmsCom) August 30, 2018
we could only be so lucky https://t.co/ST6SaYnqPm— Josh Perry (@MrJoshPerry) August 30, 2018
Of course. I just got my car washed. https://t.co/QuyrhGNOFL— J. Elvis Weinstein (@JElvisWeinstein) August 30, 2018
Everybody act cool https://t.co/hXjAhp6EVN— Erin Maloney (@ErinOnTV) August 30, 2018
Yeah but her emails— Steven Bowman (@StevenABowman) August 30, 2018
And then there were the requisite Space Force jokes:
Space Force to the rescue!!!!! pic.twitter.com/VVthxfz7pq— DeFran (@attyrichdefran) August 30, 2018
And then Dictionary.com also had a take:
Black hole: A theoretical massive object whose gravitational field is so intense that no electromagnetic radiation can escape.— Dictionary.com (@Dictionarycom) August 30, 2018
Also a black hole: Any usually wretched place of imprisonment or confinement.https://t.co/L9iDkGhq3f https://t.co/lcmbI7uzcA
On one hand, maybe we shouldn’t actually taunt the black hole, but on the other…
At this point, who even cares anymore.... pic.twitter.com/yVPbNzMc4v— Erin P. (@erinGPeltier) August 30, 2018
I for one, welcome our new black hole overlord.
Stacey Ritzen is a reporter and editor based in West Philadelphia with over 10 years' experience covering pop culture, web culture, entertainment, and news. You can follow her on Twitter @staceyritzen.