Weddings are a fine time to eat, drink, and be merry with friends and loved ones, especially if you’re the one getting hitched. But beware—once you cross the line from tipsy to shitfaced, disaster is imminent.
In this particular wedding video, disaster took the form of a dance number, performed by this fine fellow, aka “the groom.”
For his opus, the groom chose to be accompanied by Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone.” Because he’s cool. He’s the man. He’s the one who’ll take you on a ride into the danger zone.
Unfortunately, rather than prove that the groom cuts a dashing figure, all this footage does is confirm that having one too many drinks at your own wedding is ill-advised. Dude tries to save face after a failed lap dance that ended in a stumble by segueing into the “removal of the garter” portion of the night, only to take a million years (or what seemed like it) to get it done.
At some point, the bride looks to the camera and shakes her head, like she’s mentally screaming for the whole ordeal to be over.
If rough roads indeed lead to the stars, here’s hoping that the honeymoon made all the awkward embarrassment worth it.
Editor’s note: The video has been pulled from YouTube. Out of respect for the subject’s privacy, the screengrabs originally used in this story have been removed.