It takes a brave 13-year-old to rap about his bar mitzvah

Turning 13 is terrible enough. Making a rap video for your upcoming bar mitzvah is not something you're going to remember fondly, Daniel.

 

Jordan Valinsky

Internet Culture

Published Feb 20, 2013   Updated Jun 2, 2021, 12:07 am CDT

Turning 13 is terrible enough. Making a rap video for your upcoming bar mitzvah is not something you’re going to remember fondly, Daniel.

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(Hopefully) at the suggestion of his annoying parents, Daniel made a rap video to remind his irritating classmates at Paideia that he’s about to become a man. It’s three minutes of a CLEARLY lip-synching Daniel just acting the worst in front of various Atlanta landmarks. He wishes was produced by the Ark Music Factory. (Or maybe not.)

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Adapted gently from Jermaine Dupri’s “Welcome to Atlanta,” the lyrics are exactly what you expect when they’re written by Daniel’s youth basketball coach from the JCC. Filled with clunky Jewish cliches and jokes, the only part worth remembering is “Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play, hope you can make my bar mitzvah day.” Just like a young Ludacris!

Look at the “local celebrities” in it. There’s a picture of Ne-Yo, another picture of the NBA on TNT studio crew, and, uh, the city’s mayor, who obviously had to do this or else Daniel’s parents would stop the donation spigot.

The video has racked up more than 62,000 views since it was uploaded on Feb. 1. The last bar/bat mitzvah video to go viral was just as cringe-y: a hip-hop dad-daughter dance mashup.

Anyway, Daniel, we’ll see ya on May 11, 2013. Just don’t embarrass yourself further by having it somewhere tacky like the Georgia Aquarium or Coca-Cola World. 

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Photo via Liz Price/YouTube. H/t @eaweiss

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*First Published: Feb 20, 2013, 2:37 pm CST